How do I tell my parents ! Deatailed


Im an eleven year old girl with anxiety and depression.

I recently wrote a post asking how people told there parents . All the answers I got were saying tell your parents . Urging me like if I don’t all my friends will die . They actually said it calmly and nicely but my mind is makes up things?

It freaked me out , it’s like everyone putting pressure on you to steal something but worse . For about forty five minutes I was waking around in circles in the bathroom unable to breathe , you know when your trying to hold in crying you have a lump in your throat , I had that but I wasn’t crying . I practically couldn’t breathe

In my head there were voices saying “what if they won’t believe you , what if they won’t care , what if they tell every one” and to add to that I was dizzy from walking around in circles . I was also sweating but I was cold

I had chest pain , I was cold and hot at the same time and my mind was hallucinating .

I might be a panic attack but my anxiety is ocd and generalised . I was so scared and that was just thinking about telling my parents . I don’t even know to to tell them , do I go up to them and say “mum , I have anxiety” because I can’t to that . The words won’t be able to come out of my mouth . I’m eleven I can’t get a therapist unless my parents know . I don’t communicate we’ll with my parents . So someone please tell me how I cope with my situation .

Category: Tags: asked April 2, 2015

4 Answers

If you aren't ready to tell them then try to find a way to build up courage. Like just start out trying to talk to them about something random that happened during your day, something simple, and eventually you might feel more comfortable. Or you can write everything down in a letter and leave it on their bed to read. And if your scared that they will tell a bunch or people then make sure you stress to them that you don't want people knowing. And if you feel like you won't ever be able to tell them and you really need help then you might want to consider telling another trusted adult, either an aunt or uncle, a neighbor, or a teacher/guidance at school. In the meantime, if you don't have any coping skills, why not try to find something to do that can calm you down or distract you when you are having a panic attack
The letter is what I was going to to suggest too. In there you'll have the time to word everything nicely with cohesiveness and as much detail as you deem necessary.
This will really depend on who your parents are, how do they react to various things, what is your relationship with them and so on.
Not all parents are alike. I am certain that for example if I had the same issues as you have, I would be able to talk clearly with my dad, while bringing this to my mother might not result in any constructive conversation. Having parents who dismiss your isues because you are a teenager and parents who believe you must be "obviously exaggerating it" might be a problem.
You are 11, so I assume you attend school. Perhaps in your case it might be best to go to a school counselor or school psychologist (I do not know what sort of staff you have there) and talk with her/him first. Talking to such a person might be easier for you. This person is there to help you, it is his/her job. This doesn't need to be a therapist and formal therapy, just go the counselor and say that you need someone to talk to and that you have a problem.
If your parents are of the: "We are having a wonderfull life no matter what you say, all is good you are not ill" type, then perhaps having them hear this from an adult professional might make it easier for them to believe this and treat your problems seriously.
What you described by "going around 40 minutes barely able to breathe" does to me sound liek a panic attack. I cannot be sure without seeing you in person and getting more information, but from the short description you gave my best bet is to assume it was indeed a panic attack. This alone is a good reason to consult a school counselor.
When I was deciding on telling my parents I actually told my school councilor before because I guess it was easier as I didn’t talk to my parents all that much. They were actually the ones that urged me to tell my parents in the first place. I read millions of things online and that gave me an idea of how to approach it. First of all, you should never label yourself if you haven’t had professional help yet even if you are quite sure on what you have. Your parents are less likely to believe (but I guess it depends on the parents) if you just tell them you have anxiety and depression. In fact you should tell them how you feel and what things you experience in worst case scenarios. Personally I found it easier to talk to one parent at a time but I guess it depends on how comfortable you feel with talking to them. Another hard thing is to find the right time because the more I looked for the right time the longer I put it off. It's actually the easiest to just jump into to it. I'm sure if you tell your parents how you feel then they will help you, many people go through anxiety and depression too especially during puberty. Good look :)