How do I stop self-sabotage?


I don’t date much because even though I have low self-image and low self-esteem, I am very judgmental and picky and hold women to an unusually high standard, and I see it as a form of self-sabotage.

I don’t pursue my career options because I see nothing but failure in my possibilities and prospects.

I don’t exercise because I feel like I will never obtain the body I want.

I make excuses for everything. I avoid everything. I live in this bubble of my own creation and live every day just to distract myself long enough to make it to the next day.

How do I stop this cycle?

Category: asked January 26, 2014

3 Answers

You have something great which is knowing your defects. It's is something that not many people can see upon themselves and just for that you have half way of the journey done. Why not try really hard and the best you can to change them? Change your situation now and fight for it? You indeed have them localised and you can start with only one which could be for example the easiest for you or the one that less affects you. How to change it? You have like a little you inside telling you these things, telling you that you will fail in what you want to achieve, but that indeed is not true at all. Every single time you have this kind of thoughts correct that mini you telling him that you are great and that you can do everything that you commit to and that it is true. You will eventually start thinking more positively about yourself. Don't be afraid of failure because really it's our friend more than success because it makes us learn how to be better, everyone you see with a great achievement has failed 100 times at least, so try, no more excuses, because you can really do things and get them right. You are great :)
Stand up, say to yourself enough is enough and do something for the day. Don't think about it, don't look for an excuse, just get up and do something your body wants. Your mind might not want to go for a jog, or you might not feel like drawing, maybe getting a job, but your body will most likely be telling you it needs to do something- Be it jumping up and down just because you can, or maybe go for a walk in the park. Listen to it, and find out what it wants, then do it. Also smile, just that simple thing can improve not only your mood and happiness, but your overall view of things, and along with it your self esteem and self image. Your body has it's needs as the mind does as well. Make the body happy, and the mind usually follows. Hope this helps :3 ~Curiosity
As stupid as it sounds, you wake up everyday and try to find the good. It's like training a dog, you need to positively reinforce your mind. Look for things you love, find beauty in yourself and your surroundings. If you hate your body find small things you like, even if it's your handwriting or you have nice ears. You focus on finding these things daily. It seems like such a small thing, but it will eventually overtake all the negatives. Once you learn to love yourself, it will change your outlook on life. Do the same with others, if you have high standards...look at people randomly and try to find something about them that's good. Just walking past people, look for a feature or behavior that you did positive. You are simply training your mind.