Ok so the other day the class got introduced to the collage system and it got me worrying and stressing out.
I know it’s more than a year until collage but I’m seriously so worried, what will I do for a living? What should I major in? Which style of studying should I choose!?.. Etc.
I mean, I know that I want to study psychology, but it’s so complex, but I still want to, I’m so passionate and interested in science, psychology, health, how the brain and mind work, it’s just all so interesting to me!
But I’m still not 100% sure by heart. I kind of want to be a fashion designer, or go in the arts group, and I’m just so confused..
Then I’m also completely on the edge about the student loans I will deal with in the future…I just calculated the whole price for collage education and..Wow :/ It will take me at least 20 years paying that! Well..Unless I become a psychologist??.. Plus medical school will probably be like..Oh god I don’t even want to think.
I just always think my dreams are out of the box and unrealistic, since this world is so scary, my family isn’t really rich like other families and I have horrible luck in life, so I don’t know if I can reach any success with that. The only thing I have is that I’m semi-intelligent, my grades in most subjects are above average, but still, my whole family studied a lot yet they got no happiness and quit their jobs because of lack of interest or moving. I don’t want to be like them! I don’t want to waste my years! I’m just worried that I’ll lose interest in psychology, but I’ve been interested in it for a really long time, I just realized it this year or so. But in general I’ve been EXTREMELY interested in health stuff and all sorts of disorders.
What should I do? I’m so scared of the future, I get so scared that I sometimes want to kill myself so I won’t have to deal with the shit life has to offer. I mean, I’ve had pretty much of that if you ask me. But there’s more to come for the bad-luck me..I’m just wondering how I can stop obsessing so much, and I’m also wondering if it could be OCD perhaps? I’ve been having problems with it and..Yeah.
And if anyone knows the solutions to those worries and concerns then please help, I’ll probably end up trying to escape those worries with dirty stuff which will just make me a sex addict in the future…
The future is so scaryyy… ;n;