How do I say it?


So, I’ve been in a relationship for almost a year (on July 3rd it will be one year) with this girl I absolutely love. I love her with all my heart, and I can honestly say that right now I feel as if I could spend the rest of my life with her. She recently just moved a couple hours away from me, which is honestly a big change. Going from living 5 minutes away and being able to see her whenever. Which brings me to my first question, is it normal to be very sad? I haven’t been this sad in awhile and it’s getting worse. How can I get over this? She didn’t even bother to talk about this with me, and it happened so suddenly and it’s crushing me. My second question is, well, she’s lazy. She uses her dad’s money for everything and doesn’t do anything for herself. She dropped out of college, she doesn’t have a job and she’s constantly complaining about how she’s stuck under his thumb. I’m trying to stay on the right track but with her goofing off it might be hard. How do I tell her to stop using her dad for money and actually act like an adult?

Category: Tags: asked June 3, 2015

2 Answers

It's very normal to feel down with your partner having moved further afield! I've been on a lot of training recently and gone from seeing my bf everyday to once every month or so, and it can be really difficult. I'm quite independent and hapoy with my own company but even I feel down and miss him a lot. I've found that good planning of weekends to meet up will help - get some solid arrangements in place so you can look forward to seeing her! Skype also helps loads so you can regularly speak face to face :)It sounds like she's in a difficult place right now and that can put a bit of strain on the relationship - has she made much effort to find work? Try to support her emotionally but give her a nudge towards agencies or job centres that can help her - discuss her strengths and what she'd like to do. I think once she finds work everything will fall into place as it will help her develop as an adult. Hope this helps, my inbox is always open if you need to talk :)
I agree with the person twinings, I would feel the same way if my girlfriend moved very far without notice, so do not worry about that. You need to tell her that if she wants to get out from under her dad's thumb she needs to stop using his money because that is the only leverage he has on her, otherwise she can do what she wants since I am assuming she is over 18. You probably will need to help her with money or motivation to get her started off on her own though. She should appreciate the help and it will make it easier for her to become self sustaining. Find jobs for her too while you are at it, especially stuff you think she would like or be interested in because then she may voluntarily do it without any help. That is all I have right now, but if you have any more specifics you want to talk about, just pm me.