How do I love myself again…

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Im not going to give 10 paragraphs I’ll just be really quick and to the point.. My boyfriend cheated on me in the past (twice). First girl he slept with.. Second he didn’t just flirted with… I got over it and i’ve finally let the past go. The only thing I cant let go of is the fact that he sugar coats so much.. Example: “she had nowhere to go so i let her sleep over and things happened and im truly sorry” .. But the real truth he told me later was ” I went to her house..”. with the second girl he said ” i met her at a bar im sorry” but the truth was ” she worked at the gym i went to” … Sigh… Im so lost and confused because I feel like somewhere along side of all of this I lost love for myself.. I began to compare myself to other girls.. I feel ugly.. I feel like nobody would want to be with me if i left him… I feel hurt.. More hurt that i’m hurting myself by telling myself im not good enough for my boyfriend or good enough for anyone..

My question is… How do I love myself again.. How do I raise my confidence up? How do I feel beautiful again.. Cause all i feel like is ugly.. How do i become not so insecure? And lastly if anyone wants to give some feedback on my situation please give me as much as you can.

Thanks :)

Category: Tags: asked September 8, 2014

3 Answers

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accepted
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Honestly, the answer is rather simple. In order to love yourself again, you must remove the cause of your negative feelings. Which, in this case, is your current boyfriend. He's the one causing you to feel this way, and when a relationship gets to the point where that is happening, it's time to leave. While it may be a tough thing to do, I assure you that you will only attract better into your life. It's not that you aren't good enough for your boyfriend, it's that he's not good enough for you.

The first step in loving yourself is being able to do things for yourself. And getting yourself out of that damaging situation would be a step towards that direction.

Now, in the case that you would prefer to work on the relationship rather than discard it, then your best bet is to talk to your boyfriend about how you feel, and discuss making some changes in his lifestyle, not yours. If he isn't willing to make some changes in order for the relationship to work, then that leaves you with only one option left, which is to leave him behind so that someone much more appreciative of you can come into your life and fulfill the needs that he is failing to.
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How do I love myself again. well it's normal that when people love to mental the life "there lover" when the love fail there life well fail too, all you is re build your mental image about life and reprogram your perspective about life, fill your self with knowledge so you have the experience to overcome and question, that you ask your self.How do I raise my confidence up? How do I feel beautiful again your confidence automatically will increase when you build a wall of knowledge and new life style with huge ambition, so find a goal or passion. feeling beautiful is issue every girl face ( in experiment has done with 7 models and one painter, 6 of the models asked to give discretion to the painter to paint the 7th model and the same 7th model gave the painter description about her self, eventually the paint with 6 models image is gorgeous and the paint with 7th model was awful ) it's normal that sometimes we feel down so we hate our shape and ourself and everything so keep you self-esteem up.How do i become not so insecure? build a shield like meet a lot of friends hang out with them, girls always feel insecure if she is not with her friends that why group of girls can be wild and one girl always shy even though she is in the same group but the amount of friends is different in girl system.
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I'm a guy, and I happen to be horrible with words. So I don't know how much help i'll be, but I'll try. I had something similar happen to me. My gf cheated on me because she wasn't ready to be fully committed. I was one more thing on her plate and she in all truth had a lot to deal with. But after it happened I started thinking similar things. She was wealthy, I wasn't, so that was the easiest thing for me to blame. Then it went to me not being sophisticated enough for her. I began to doubt me when I really had nothing to do with it. I wasn't the problem. You have to understand that someone cheating is a problem with them, not you. You are what they found attractive in the beginning, but they weren't satisfied with their life so they were looking for something different. Like I said, I'm not good with wording things, but I hope you can make sense out of that.