How do I know if he cheated?


I know I’m the only one who really knows my relationship but I’m so torn between what to believe. I’m dating someone who has a 6 month old child with his ex gf. They were off and on during most her pregnancy and when I started talking to him he was done with her and only keeping communication with her because their baby. I’ve been with him 3 and a half months and his ex does not like me. I could see her saying and doing anything to break up my relationship and have him back. I don’t trust her, the past two weeks she’s been telling her friends she’s had sex with my bf twice. Both times she’s claiming this happened my bf was over at her house visiting his daughter. He denies it all, I’ve gotten sent screenshots of convos of her saying they hooked up, that’s pretty much proof to me? I want to believe and trust he didn’t cheat on me but everything added up seems like he did. Am I letting her ruin my relationship or did he ruin it on his own? I broke up with him and he hasn’t had much to say or fighting to keep me, just says you don’t believe what I say anyway. I love him and he’s shown nothing but love to me until all this sketchiness with his ex. I would love advice or insight from anyone, people that can relate to my situation. I’m torn to stay with him or move on.

Category: Tags: asked February 9, 2015

3 Answers

Trust in a relationship is very important. However, sometimes people use that as a quick excuse to get away with things. He has a child with her and they've been on and off a few times before. So there's always a chance something might happen again. If you've seen screenshots that prove it, then yes that is proof that he's lying to you. He says to you that you don't believe what he says anyway, but in this case it sounds like that way he's trying to guilt trip you. I used to have an ex who also said "you don't believe what I say anyway, you don't trust me". Even after having evidence, but eventually after that break up, he came clean about it. I think there's a high possibility that he has been cheating on you and he's playing the "you have to trust me card". It seems like you can never really be sure with this guy. Of course it's normal that he goes there to see his daughter, but it seems like that's not the only reason why he goes there. What you want to do is your choice, but if you feel like you can't trust him, what's the point of sticking with him? If you'll always feel like something is going on behind your back, then this isn't a healthy relationship. Do you feel good in this relationship? Do you honestly think you'd ever be able to trust him? Think about it.
Brittney, I am not inclined to believe that he is cheating based on this evidence. I think you are dealing with a jealous ex-girlfriend and mother of his child.
But you did the right thing breaking up anyway! You don't need to be involved with someone that has a really young child and a jealous mother. Because ultimately, your relationship would not just be with would have to be with him, the baby, and the ex-girlfriend mother. And they have not even stabilized their parenting relationship. How could your new relationship be stable under these circumstances?
You may love him and he may love you. But the timing just isn't right. Move on. Let him develop that really important relationship with his child. And you can live without the drama of the ex-girlfriend.
Don`t feel bad, dear. Firstly, you should clear up whether your BF is really cheating. There are a lot of devices (like keylogger [URL=""][/URL]). And then you`ll make decision what to do. Common child will always bind them. Your female wisdom will help you to cope with it.