How do I help the person who is helping me?


I am currently trying to deal with my depression but it’s pretty bad, I’m struggling to look after myself at all, and my boyfriend of 3 years, who doesn’t live in my city, is finding it hard to cope with. I feel really guilty because when he eventually gets me to tell him how I feel and how things have gone that day over the phone, he feels useless, or he gets angry and frustrated, or cries, begging me to look after myself and get better. Basically he’s the only one who truly knows what’s going on and I think him supporting me is taking its toll. I don’t want him worrying about me all the time. I tell him to stop thinking about me and try to minimise what I tell him but I still feel like he’s getting sad about it, it’s affecting his sleep, and I don’t want to distract him from his job or his master’s degree because he is doing so so well in life and he is usually such a happy positive person. I don’t want to bring him down. But I also need support, I have noone else to turn to. How can I make sure my problems don’t have a negative affect on him? Should I stop relying on him so much to listen to/deal with all my problems? Should I lie and say everything’s fine? It makes me feel terrible to think I’m adding more worries and stresses to his plate.

Category: Tags: asked April 15, 2015

1 Answer

It's okay to take help when it's offered. I would express to him your concern about it being too hefty for him. Let him know his feelings matter too and that if you are so open with him he needs to do the same with you. Also when you are feeling positive, a little or alot, call him, text him, email him. It may help you both feel like it isn't a lost cause. May help restore balance and alienate his concern.