How do I get over sexual tension with a friend?


I am currently in a relationship with a great man, but over the past month, I’ve found myself very sexually attracted to my male best friend. At one point we got drunk and messed around. Since then I have not been able to get him out of my mind. It’s completely sexual. I would never want an actual relationship with him. He is my best friend so I don’t want to cut him out of my life, but I also don’t want to cheat or hurt my boyfriend in the process. How do I get over these feelings?

Category: Tags: asked March 19, 2015

2 Answers

I understand where you are coming from. I have been in a committed relationship with my boyfriend for over four years, and sexual tension between friends is not uncommon. From what I'm feeling from you, you feel very guilty about these feelings, primarily because you are scared of hurting people. You want to know how you can get over these feelings, but the truth is that things like this are going to happen for the rest of your life, whether you are in a relationship or not, and feelings do not just go away because we want them too.People are not made to care about just one person for their entire life, and the same goes for sexual attraction. If you don't want to pursue a sexual relationship with the person you are attracted too because of emotional reasons, it is not about getting rid of these feelings. If you want to stay friends with people you are sexually attracted to, and not initiate anything with them, what's important is that you understand your own weaknesses and learn self control. It's important to recognize the times and places where you are vulnerable to giving in to your sexual desire and having the forethought to remove yourself from these situations.If you have an honest, trusting relationship with your spouse, you may find that talking to them about it and working out what your feelings are can provide you with a good outlet for the guilt you feel about attraction, and the chances are that your partner has felt exactly the same as you have before. Healthy people admit to and accept their attraction. That doesn't mean that it controls you or defines who you are or how it affects your relationship with your boyfriend.
Well from what I can gather, you have a male best friend who you're becoming sexually attracted to,thats not bad, but you already have a boyfriend. Does you're best friend know youre boyfriend, and why is it that you've become attracted to him, has something changed between both of you, I think you should stay with you're boyfriend and tell you're best friend that you're just friends and that both of you shouldn't be messing around if he's a true friend.