How do I get my friend back?

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So over a month ago I found out my friend was having a movie night and didn’t invite me. I felt a little insulted and got more aggravated as the day went on and more people asked me if I was going. I wasn’t sure if I should approach her about it but later that day I saw her in the hallway, talking about how I, and two other girls, weren’t invited, and they were laughing about it. I went up to her and said “thanks for not inviting me to your party” which she responded with some very hurtful things. I didn’t know what I did wrong though, I understand how I approached her wasn’t the nicest way, but she lashed out at me pretty bad. Being the emotional person I am I cried once I was alone with just my boyfriend and my friend around. A week later I tried to apologize and find out why she was so mad at me. She told me myself bf and my friend had called her and said multiple things like “burn in hell” and “kill yourself” I apologized and told her I had no knowledge that they did that. She told me to leave her alone for awhile, but now it’s a month later and we have had minimum contact. She has had more movie nights and haven’t invited me. I am not sure what to do. All my friends say she’s the one who’s wrong and to just ignore her but than they continue to hangout with her and not invite me anywhere. Is the friendship worth it? And how do I become friends with her again?

Category: Tags: asked February 4, 2014

4 Answers

1
The way the situation was handled wasn't exactly the best way, but I'm happy that you're trying to settle it with her maturely. It does seem mean of her to lash out at you like that and laugh about you being uninvited, so I understand that you're upset. In my opinion, I honestly think that a friendship with that person isn't worth it if she's going to react this way towards you and say hurtful things like that, no matter the circumstance. You could only end up getting betrayed and hurt if she keeps it up this way.However, I still think it'd be necessary to tell her you'd like to have a mature talk and see how you can handle your friendship with her. Maybe you can ask her to set aside a little bit of time in her schedule and you two could sit down and talk, or talk about it over a coffee break or something. Be polite and hopefully you two can recognize the problems together. Try to have her understand your point of view and tell her you didn't appreciate it.
1
One time my friend did something like this too. Exept I kinda stopped it quicker, her best friend moved back into town and was all on her and forgot about me, I am also friends with the girl too... So one day I asked if she was mad and she was like idk so I decided to walk up to her like nothing happened, and well it actually worked, she just acted normal, but in your situation I would tell a teacher you like otpr just talk about her with your boyfriend, maybe he can help more or something, or just kill her with kindness... I hope this helps a little!!
1
One time my friend did something like this too. Exept I kinda stopped it quicker, her best friend moved back into town and was all on her and forgot about me, I am also friends with the girl too... So one day I asked if she was mad and she was like idk so I decided to walk up to her like nothing happened, and well it actually worked, she just acted normal, but in your situation I would tell a teacher you like or just talk about her with your boyfriend, maybe he can help more or something, or just kill her with kindness... I hope this helps a little!!
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The problem between you and your friend was the other two uninvited friends making nasty calls and messages. It was a misunderstanding between you and your friend, and you had no idea that your friend had built-up emotion over receiving nasty messages. The way you two reacted to each other was a mutual accident, and you need to approach this friend when it is just the two of you and work it out.

Clear the air about what happened, and apologize for overreacting about a movie invite, she should apologize as well and that should give you a comfortable place to continue the friendship. If she is not interested in clearing the air, then just let it go, but don't pretend like nothing happened.