How do I get guys interested in dating me instead of just sex?

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It seems like every guy I meet just wants sex. I want to date and build a relationship before I get to that point. I signed up on match.com and all I get from there is the same thing. I don’t know if it’s something I’m doing wrong or what. The pictures I send or the way I dress when I meet people is not revealing so I don’t get it. There’s more to me that my body (which isn’t even in the best shape).

Category: asked October 13, 2013

7 Answers

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First, you don't need to blame yourself for the men you meet just wanting sex. It's not your fault. Nothing is wrong with you. How men behave and what they go after is completely up to them. A lot of people say that girls should take care how they dress and act if they want a guy to want them for something other than sex, but that's ridiculous. Women should take care how they act and dress because of things like dignity and self respect. Not because of men. That doesn't give men responsibility for their actions and makes them look like nothing more than animals. So get out of the mindset that something you do is causing this behavior.
Second, I've never been a fan of dating sites of any kind. There are too many creeps out there, men just seeking sex, and a lot of them use the internet. You'll never truly know who you're talking to until you meet them face to face. This isn't to say that nothing good has ever come from dating sites. I know two people in a very happy marriage that met through a dating site. But I still would never advise someone to use one. But it is, of course, your choice. You just have to know that there will be a lot of people on there looking for sex and it will take patience to sift through them all until you find someone who might be trustworthy.
My advice would be just to relax. There are many men out there who are interested in dating someone and not just sex, but it might take some time to find the right one. I would be careful about searching for someone to date. If that's your goal, then you may just find men who are easy to get because they want sex. Just be yourself around people. Don't look for a boyfriend, look for a friend. Take the time to get to know people. That's how most great relationships start.
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Do you go for a special type or something? I always went for a guy with long hair, for an example. But if you are seeking something specific, try someone that doesn't fint into that group. Try those you normally wouldn't. I'm not saying you should settle for anything less that what you want, but just try. No one knows what you will find :)
Also, maybe you could try talking with some guys about it, if you haven't already. Good luck!
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Match.com, despite how they market themselves might not be the best platform for finding a relationship. I've heard from other women on the site that the men there tend to be jerks who just want sex. I'm sure its not you. When guys are desperate for sex they don't need a lot of encouragement. I would cancel the subscription, maybe try another site. I feel like you have a good idea of what kind of guy you want to find, its just actually finding the guy that's the hard part. I'm sure it's just a matter of time. Good luck!
Avatar of V
V
1,447
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You should make it clear to guys that you are looking for something seriuos or on a first date tell them something that would freak him out and if he stays then hes a keeper and he wants more then just the physical
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Ya'll are amazing people. Thank you so much. @ Dagmar Pederson- I don't really have a type anymore. I'm willing to try just about anything.
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+1 for V. Do not blame yourself for men who use you for sex. Certain men are predators. To them it doesn't matter how you come across, how you advertise yourself, your wants, desires, or fears. To them, learning those things and using them against you is a means to an end. There are countless things you can do to weed them out. Some are obvious. Some are near impossible to spot. Knowing when to ask a question to make sure a man isn't a predator is walking a tight rope. You could push away a genuinely good guy by coming across as paranoid for example. So there is no easy answer. Knowing they are out there and what it feels like to be caught by one gives you a leg up at least.Ask me how I know some men are predators...
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Be lovable . A kind person is worth loving . A doll is worth a quickie .