How do I forgive myself for my past choices?


I’m in my forties and am spending a lot of time beating myself up about choices I made and decisions I took in all of my life. I can’t help wondering ‘what if?’ and it’s breaking my heart because I can’t go back. How can I come to terms with what’s over and done with?

Category: asked September 14, 2014

3 Answers

At certain time in our lives, we make decisions that we thought was the best choice we could make. Even though, some of them were the best memories ever, some were wrong and changed our lives. Today, we are who we are thanks to the decisions we made once. It's simple fact that we can change what is done but we can definitely decide what will be done in our future. So make peace with your past, and let it stay there where it belongs - in your past. Take your past experiences as a base structure of what you are made of and just trust yourself.
I too am in my forties and know exactly what you are talking about. I have many regrets. Things I wish I would have done differently. Things I wish I could take back. Things I said that I didn't mean. And so on...

As you go through life, you continue on your path. If you spend your life looking behind you, you will continue to fall on your face because you are not looking where you are going.

The best thing is to understand what happened, what your part in it was, and to learn from it. I tell my kids, "A wise man learns from his mistakes, but the wiser man learns from other's mistakes." The best thing you can do is to learn from them and let go. If you need to make amends, you may need to do that as well. Even if the other person does not receive it. It will make you feel better.

One thing I know is that you are alive and breathing. You have a choice today to make a difference. You have a choice to make the rest of your life anything you want it to be. So choose a path that will make you smile. A path that, at the end, you can look back and be proud of yourself. Your journey is not over. Your future is yours, today is all that matters, and the past is behind you.

Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift... that's why they call it the present!

Take care!
Hello, your post has struck a cord with me. I am only 20 years old, and I already feel like I've lost the fight with making something good of my life. And I'm worried that when I have it all to look back at that I will just feel like I could have done so much more. Like How I am sat at home today, spending most of my days in my pyjamas and feeling like too much of a wimp to actually live my life.I don't ever want to give up but sometimes it feels like I'm stuck in a rut that I can't get out of. And it's hard to see things changing. Anyway best of luck to you, I hope you find the strength to move forward instead of looking back. You and me both. X