how do i forgive my brother for sexually abusing me when I was younger

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I’m only 16 and he is like in his 30s

Category: asked August 20, 2013

4 Answers

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Well that depends. Your relationship with him is never going to be perfect. But for you to be good with him you need to be good with yourself, so for that I advise therapy, if you have not already had some. Secondly, you could need closure, he might need to own up and apologise and really acknowledge it, if he has not already done so. Lastly it could just take a lot more time.
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I wouldn't. I have never forgave the man that raped me. It depends on if want to forgive him for it. What will you gain from forgiving him? As long as you have comes to terms with what has happened then you have all you need. Don't forgive him to make him feel better, don't do anything for anyone but yourself. That is a very traumatic experience and you need to deal with in your own way. If you don't want to forgive him then don't. If you do want to forgive him make sure you are doing it for yourself.
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@Finny forgiving the person gives you peace of mind. It's not easy but its necessary if you truly want to let go.
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It'll be a tough road to forgiveness, but if you really want to forgive him, I'd honestly say talk to him. Sit him down and explain why you why to forgive him and what he did to you -believe it or not, he may not remember some of it- I'm not saying be explicit in detail, but tell him what happened, and explain that you're open to forgiveness.