Im 22 and I’ve never really been in a relationship. Its hard for me to make a move with guys im interested in and even harder for me to believe that a guy might be interested in me at all. I have major confidence issues and I think thats playing a large role in my lack of relationships and this lack of relationships gets me depressed and lowers my confidence even more. Its a vicious cycle. How do I end it?
Fake it until you make it. Some of the best relationships I know of started out with someone blurting out a random exclamation such as: "Want to go to coffee?" or "I love you." or "I am a HUGE fan of The Who."If you see someone you find physically attractive even simply saying hello and asking them a stupid question about the weather can result in a new expansion of friendship and even turn into something more. The funny thing about people is we're all equally scared to talk to someone we find attractive and no one would get any where if we didn't take risks.Everyone who wants someone deserves to have someone on some level. You've just got to be willing to hear the words no. After all the worst thing that happens is someone says no. It really isn't as big of deal as everyone makes it. Wouldn't you rather be turned down then go on a date that absolutely sucks anyway?I know I would.I'm not saying to necessarily go out and explode with a declaration of love but when you find someone cute strike up a conversation. The more practice you have the easier it becomes.
I think when I was single I spent a lot of time focusing on "what's wrong with me? why aren't guy attracted to me?" etc. Then I found things to obsess over (my height, my weight, etc.) and mentally degrade myself for. This got me no where because my self esteem plummeted and people can sense that. If you carry yourself like you are less than others, people are perceptive and they can treat you as such.
I finally stopped focusing/obsessing over my flaws and meeting the right guy and just concentrated on living. What I mean is, I focused on having fun with friends, my job, my church, and onwards. Then when my mindset changed - I met my husband. I have faith this will happen for you, too. Try to be patient and kind to yourself.
Please try not to be too hard on yourself! You are a child of God and loved more than you can ever fathom! Remember that! :)
Get Matched With a Therapist If you would like real online counseling from trained, Licensed, and Certified Professionals, visit our Therapists section to take a questionnaire and be matched with a counselor that's right for you.