How do i cope with repeated failure?


I am an engineering student. I have been failing is exams repeatedly for long. I studied very hard this time. I did whatever i could, yet, I could not perform well in exam. I ruined it. May be it is because of nervousness and lots of pressure. I feel extremely sad. I am disappointed at myself at ruining the exam despite of studying diligently. I am afraid that i will fail again though there is slight chance that I might pass. It’s like- you really really want something, work day and night for it, give your heart and soul to it, you fail, you try again, you fail again and you work more hard…. still you don’t achieve it. I feel stuck at the vicious cycle of failing. I have been holding on for so long. I think I am at the verge of breaking down. My self esteem has crushed. I can’t get a job unless i graduate. My life is going nowhere. I am pressurized from my parents to pass the exams. Can you help me cope with the situation? How do I get out of the vicious cycle of failing? How do I believe that I can achieve my dreams? How do I learn to ignore the nasty comments my parents pass on me for failing? How do I move forward no matter what happens? Please, pray that I pass this time. Being an Engineer is all i want at the moment. Thank you very much.

Category: Tags: asked July 23, 2014

3 Answers

Maybe it' s a problem with your study method, it might not be efficient as it needs to be. Do you have any schoolmate to compare methods, time invested, etc.? Or a tutor?
It might also not be what you are cut for, if you just began, you can think if it's something you can really finish. If you are closer to the end, then yes, do what it takes to finish it, even if it means taking more time.
By re-examining how you process failure.

When Thomas Edison was working on his lightbulb designs, someone asked him how many designs he'd tried. He was past the 700th design. The very next design failed as well. Thomas Edison then went on to say "I have not failed. I have only found 700 ways how not to make a lightbulb."

If your study model is not working, do something different. Do not dwell on the problem, focus on the solution. The solution is how to better cope, and one way you are absolutely doing that wrong is by beating yourself up over your failures. That is instilling a sense of shame in yourself, and it is impossible to shame yourself into success.

Step number one is to immediately stop abusing yourself through shame and dedicate yourself to discovering the solution. Every next failure you find is not the solution; discard it and continue on. Dwell on your failures after you succeed, then you can draw perspective from it.
Hey, hey, first of all just seeing how badly you want it just shows part of your dedication and that's something to be proud of. Secondly, one thing I've learned and remind myself of all the time is : Failure is a bruise, not a tattoo. Do not think that just because you have failed on various occasions makes you some sort of pathetic failure, because you are not at all. Don't let your parents define you with their comments, you must keep your head up and prove them wrong. It's brave of you to keep trying especially after you've failed before and like I said before, you should feel proud and just keep chasing that dream.