How do I cope with my family not accepting my sexuality?

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I’ve tried to come out to my mom several times, but every-time I get waved off with a “you’re straight” or “you’re confused, we’ll go to church on Sunday” and it’s really bringing me down. I’m done trying to get her to accept me, I just want to know how I can cope with how awful this all makes me feel.

Category: Tags: asked August 7, 2014

7 Answers

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This can be a difficult issue. Acceptance from parents is one of the most important things we need in life in order to feel content, and coping with a lack of acceptance, and a wavering off into the religion department, can be hard.

It's important to gauge how you feel, and to try to identify exactly how SHE feels about this. If she's strongly religious, she could be fearing for your safety, and for your soul, because unfortunately, religious agenda tells parents that their kid can go to hell for having a non-standard sexuality. I know that this can feel pretty much as if she's picking religion over you, but if you see it as her worrying about you, which is probably what it is, maybe it'll cause less of a disconnect between you two.

I also advise you seek out support among your peers, there are generally LGBT friendly communities pretty much everywhere, try to get in touch with them, and find out how other people are coping with this same thing :)

I hope this helps!
Good luck!
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When I came out to my family as pansexual it took them ages and they insisted I didn't know at my age. Eventually, your mom will come to accept your sexuality but it's going to take some time and maybe it'll always be a sore subject but be proud of who you are and comfortable with you sexuality.
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When I came out to my mom she didn't believe me either. She thought I was confused and she thought I would get over it. I said to her, believe what you want to believe, I will do my thing and live my life. If you don't accept it, it's your choice, but you can't change me. It took like about 6 months before she accepted that I had a girlfriend. Know she's super excited about us getting proposed and stuff. She can't wait for us to have kids together.I think you should give it some time. It's probably a hard thing for parents to hear there kid might be falling on the same gender or so.DO what feels good for YOU, but give it some time.
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I know how you feel. When I came out my grandma deleted me from her friends on facebook and my other grandma stopped talking to me for a year. My mom still doesn't believe that I'm bisexual and my stepdad is homophobic. I've learnt that I need to please myself and no one else. As hard as that can be, you have to be content with yourself if you plan on having others content with you. I would just keep saying it once every so often but not add to much to it. You're so wonderful and you shouldn't let that get you down You will get more people like that down the road and all you have to do is believe that you are a great person and the rest will follow :)Stay strong xx
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I know it's hard, but just try not to think about it. You can still do what you want. She's not the one having sex or dating people for you, it's your life and you can do what you want with it. If she has a problem with it she can get over it. You don't need her acceptance. You need your own.
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I have been involved in family drama with this, and the reality is: If they can't really just accept your sexuality then you don't really need them. You can't choose your sexuality, and it's never wrong to be who you are. Maybe not your entire family can accept who you are, but those you are closest to you might be able to get them to accept you. At least try and talk to them. Tell them that you didn't choose this, because you really didn't. It's not a choice. I hope my advice is somewhat helpful.
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First of all, I think you should be commended for your bravery in approaching your mother not once, but multiple times in coming out. It's hard enough to do it the first time, let alone repeatedly to someone who doesn't want to listen.As others have suggested, I would advise seeking out some GLBTIQ friendly services. I can't recommend any as I don't know where you are located, but most major city centres in western nations will have a pride or a pride/gender centre with information and support for individuals and their parents.She may come around, she may not. Prepare for the worst and hope for the best. In any case, there is plenty of support for you on this website and hopefully you'll meet some wonderful, supportive people if you decide to seek out a centre who can help you through this difficult time.