How did I mess up????

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Last week the guy I am seeing and I were in his car alone and we started making out. The next thing I knew he was trying to get me in the back seat. I kept declining but he kept coming up with excuses on why I should do it. For the past few months I told him I was ready to have sex, but when I actually got to the point I couldn’t do it. We were actually in the backseat with my pants down when I screamed that I couldn’t do it. Now he is upset because he said I didn’t keep my word. We went riding around after that like nothing happened but when we talked on the phone the day after he got mad when I said I don’t know if I want to do it anymore because he said I was all talk but wouldn’t commit. Now he won’t answer any of text messages and when I saw him in the hallway today he just passed by me like a stranger. What did I do wrong? I don’t know what to do because I don’t want to just forget about him. Someone please help!!!!!

asked April 8, 2014

7 Answers

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Hey there ♡ I'm not thay experienced in something like this but I think I should suggest this to you; you deserve much better. He can not simply treat you like this as you are human too and you have your rights. You can choose to do what you want and should not be forced. Obviously he only really cares about using you and that's wrong. At this age I think guys think that this is the most important thing in a relationship and its not, but its not only the guys fault its all the hormones etc. Try to talk to him and know inside you didn't do anything because Its obvious you didn't. If he doesn't respond then let him be and try to stay strong and move on ♥ good luck!♥
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You didn't do anything wrong. If anything, he's in the wrong for not respecting that you aren't ready. Yes, I realize you may have told him that you are ready and maybe you are physically. But mentally something is stopping you. And there's nothing wrong with that. He shouldn't be getting mad at you for that. Maybe you should give him a few days to cool off and for you to calm down a bit. And then I think you should try to talk to him and explain how you thought you were ready but something inside stopped you. If he really cares about you he'll understand. He's probably just frustrated right now. I hope this helped and you can always message me if you need to talk! c:
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He is being a jerk in my opinion. If he cannot respect your opinions or views or ideas or choices, then not only are you not doing anything wrong, but he is doing some very jerkish stuff. I have someone who cannot respect anything about me in my English class, and I am ok with it, because I know he is just a git who is just trying to make me succumb to his level. Sorry got a little off topic, anyway, I would suggest talking to him about and tell him that he needs to respect your choices. Best of wishes.
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You are describing a classic behavior for a guy. And your reaction is fairly classic for a girl as well.
The best thing that you can do for YOU, is to quit sending him texts or trying to contact him in any way. Let him cool down. You don't even have to say hello in the hallway. Then, if he does contact you, you make sure that he treats you the way YOU want to be treated. Make sure that you mean as much to him as he means to you. And don't worry about the line that he gave you stating that "you didn't keep your word". The truth is that this is a line that guys use to pressure girls.
You did not do anything wrong, And even though you don't want to forget about him, that may be your best option.
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Hello Miss. You did the right thing in reaching out.

It is arguable that sex is one of the defining points of our lives. It is important how we learn about it, approach it and treat it. Your feelings are entirely understandable. There is a lot of pressure in both directions about sex; to do it and not to do it. It can get very confusing.

The ultimate answer is this: it is up to you and only you. It is your body. You say when you have sex. Nobody is ever entitled to have sex with you, and sex is never something you "owe" anyone. Anyone who says otherwise is a manipulative jerk. The rule of thumb is this: If you are not ready, you are not ready. If you say no, the answer is no. You don't have to justify your answer. The explanation is simple: you are not ready, and that is all that matters.

Hold your head up, shake off the fear that you did something wrong and respect yourself for your decision, and don't worry that you did something wrong, because you did NOTHING wrong. He crossed the line by pressuring you. If he loved you and supported you, he'd attempt to understand how you're feeling and how to make things work until you're ready for sex.

Talk to yourself in the meantime, ask yourself why you can get revved up and ready to go, but when it comes down to it, you couldn't go through with it. Make sure that you are okay before you go into a potentially volatile situation like having sex before you're ready. Get a fix on where your head is and why you feel the way you feel. The better you understand yourself, the easier it is to make decisions.
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That is what you call emotional blackmailing... basically, he is trying to make you feel bad so you will give in and get in your pants. And yes, I know you don't want to hear this but dump that loser because that is a sign of a very rotten and immature personality. He should respect you no matter what, it is YOUR decision what you do with YOUR body and not his. And if he can't wait then obviously he doesn't care enough about you... I'm sorry, not trying to sound harsh or hurt you. It'll save you a lot of heartache though...
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You sexually teased him and now he's throwing a temper tantrum over it. He's not mature enough to be in a relationship and you're better off without him. That about sums it up.