how can I tell my boyfriend I relapsed?

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He has been there for me through everything. I went to rehab and got clean a couple years ago. We recently moved back to our home state and its been so hard. I relapsed on heroin yesterday and I know I need to tell him but I don’t know how without him getting upset. (He used to be an opiate addict before we met, so I know he can’t be with me if I’m going to be using again) any advice would help a lot. (Also I’m not planning to keep using, I really don’t want that life again but I’m afraid now so maybe advice for staying clean now too)

Category: Tags: asked May 5, 2014

5 Answers

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Hi there - and thank you for posting a question. First and foremost, tell yourself that you have relapsed and this is a sign that you need help. You may need to seek out rehab even if it was a one-time thing. Your boyfriend, from what I understand, has been with you through thick and thin. It is only natural for him to seem upset. Don't mistake his emotions as true anger because he does care about you and he is worried that you have relapsed. Your boyfriend can help you get through this tough spot. Ask him to help you find a rehab center or counselor that will help you get back on track again. Bringing a solution to this difficult conversation will help move things along smoother. My best of luck to you!
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Okay, I may not be much help but let's see. I mean it's good to know that he can sympathize with his own battle with addiction and if you tell the truth and explain that you didn't mean to and that you've been very stressed he should understand. I mean if he really loves you, he'll help you through it which I'm sure he will. Also if he gets angry, I could understand but remind yourself that he's just upset because he cares about you. Best of luck and hope thing go well xxxx
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Thank you both for your answers. I doubt I will need rehab as a first option. I just need to tell my therapist and I'm sure he will have some options. And I know he will be (understandably angry) but I know it is because he cares. I just want to convey to him that I do not plan to keep using. I have been struggling lately and he knows that this was a possibility. I just want to not continue ruining everything ive been working toward for two years and move on with my life.
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Thank you for being honest with us. If you ever need someone to listen - feel free to email me at [email protected]
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It is a tough one, and I understand that he will probably be angry. However, I would like to think his anger is only because he is scared for you. He is well aware of what it is like to be an addict and has faced his own demons by becoming clean. Your experience was not so long ago and he would undoubtedly be worried about losing you to it.
I think he will appreciate it (in the long run) and you will feel better if you are upfront and honest. Tell him you fucked up. Tell him the circumstances but don't make excuses. Tell him who and where. Tell him you are sorry and that you would love it if he could help you with this from day dot.
Making yourself accountable to the person you care about the most can be scary. If he is on your team though, your success is his success, and it can be easier doing it for someone else if you don't feel you deserve the life being clean gives you.
I wouldn't be surprised if some 'rules' were placed, you have cheated on him with the H when he trusted you to look after yourself. He knows that you need him, he's been there, I know that he can help you and I know that you can help you too.
Be ready for tears and be ready for lots of cuddles. He's upset because he cares about you, not because he doesn't care.
Br brave. You've completed the rehab and been clean before, he is one more reason to keep you on track, you can and you will do it.