How can I stop this?

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My boyfriend and I have been dating for about a year and a half now, (I’m 15, he’s 16) and he’s never really had any female friends that I know of before. But now, he’s gotten close to this really pretty girl (who’s his age as well) and she seems so nice, and I can’t help but be so scared that he’ll like her and leave me for her. I’ve gotten jealous over him before, when he’d talk to a girl because once one of them tried to flirt with him. I think he finds it annoying how I’m always jealous, that’s why I haven’t told him about being jealous this time, but this time it hurts so much more than all the other times.
He has this girls number, and I know he messages her. No, I didn’t look through his phone I’m not like that, but he brings her up like literally every single day and when I’d ask him what he’s doing he’d tell me he’s replying to her. I can’t even get a decent and fast reply from him, but I feel like when it’s her he rushes to his phone to give her a nice reply.
How can I stop feeling like this? I’m happy for him having friends now, he used to literally be so alone when I first met him. I don’t want him to feel like he can’t talk to females because I’ll go off in a mood, but at the same time I feel like sometimes he mentions girls to intentionally make me jealous. I don’t think he realises that it hurts so much. I can feel it in my chest and when it gets really bad i can’t breathe and I start shaking and crying.
I can’t bare the thought of him leaving me, I’m alone myself without him.

Category: asked April 18, 2015

2 Answers

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Hello there,That's good that your relationship is running steady after one year and a half. Have you ever thought of trying to tell him what you feel? I know this is hard, but try to politely tell him and bring your concerns slowly. You shouldn't live in constant anxiety over this, and I hope he's not encouraging this behaviour. I'm sorry to see what unbearable pain you're going through for him. It seems like he underestimates the type of hurt he brings with his actions. It's good that you're not a restricting girlfriend, and that you try to trust your boyfriend with all the power you have when you're struggling inside. You need to break the communication barrier, and tell him, so he knows! I admire the strength you bring into your relationship. If he doesn't appreciate your love, then one day, and I know you might not like to see this, maybe you'll find something else to love such as a book, a language, a new friend to keep you company etc.I hope this helps you :)))-Kylie :~)
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Hi! I think you should just tell him, how you feel. I had (or sometimes when I have a bad day I still have it) the same problem. We have always had mutual friends, but now we go to universities (two different, however we live together) and I feel I have no control over what he does (I have never had, but we went to the same class in high school, so I knew what he did and I was calm about it). I trust him as you trust your boyfriend and you know what helps me? I think you guessed - talking to him. Every single time I tell him I feel jelous. And I had exactly the same situation like you - I sometimes could not get the response from him but he rushed to the phone every time she sent a message. We woke uo at 7 am? He was taking his phone and without saying "hello" to me, he started writing with her, because she has sent a mesage. I told him it hurts me and... and he stopped! He now pays much much more attantion to how I may feel about what he does.I think your boyfriend is doing the same. It is not like he preferes her over you but he doesn't realize it may hurt you. So tell him about it but !!calmly!!. Tell him exactly how you feel without getting angry or shouting. Hope you will feel better! I will keep my fingers crossed~Maggie :)