I am 21, I quite the job I loved because it was too physically and emotionally demanding, I am finishing college next week and am scared because this is the first time I have not been in school, I am distant from my family, and I’ve lost touch with my friends who are all moving away, I don’t like where I’m living bUT I don’t know where to go, and I’m scared to be alone. I was dating a man I loved for eight months, we planned a road trip together that was supposed to start next week. We love each other, but we had been having problems due to a weird distance we felt between us. We broke up a week ago, and he discovered the reason he couldn’t give me his all was because he couldn’t be in a relationship right now. He needs to find himself and have a period of time that he isn’t tied down to anything, because he had just gotten out of a destructive three year relationship when we met, and everything is open to him because next year he needs to settle down and get a job for health insurance so this is his last opportunity. I still love him, and I am having trouble letting go. Our future was all I wanted, we had events planned together and I loved his friends and still want to see them, but I d I not know if that’s weird. He seems to have transitioned into just being friends very well, and he wants to get together when he gets back and see if we are in a better place in our lives to see if we want to try again, but I can’t be sure that’s going to happen no matter how much I want it to.
I am not going on the trip with him, and he has no idea how long he will be gone, he may never come back, and if he does, he might not want me back. He told me that he honestly thought he might marry me for a while before he got distant because he just didn’t want to be in a relationship, and he still just wants to spend his life with me, but I don’t know how to move on with my life knowing the man I love left me and there’s to surety we will be together.
I’m struggling trying to figure out my next step, and I don’t know how to get over him. I wnated yo go to the events we planned, and i want to still hang out with his friends, but i just am having so much trouble just being his friend, i miss him so bad, ive never felt this before. Please help me, I’m struggling so much I can eat or sleep and I just don’t know how to cope with the mess my life has become.