How can I let go? | BlahTherapy - Online Therapy and Counseling Services.

How can I let go?

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My Nan died 1 year ago. Exactly a week after my birthday. I’ve always struggled with January and February as I loose a couple of family or friends every year, without fail. The Dreaded Winter or Curse Of Winter i call it. Last year in the January i lost my grandfather to cancer. Yet i was okay, because i was relieved he was no longer suffering, even though i never got to say goodbye or prepare myself fully. But 5 weeks later my Nan died. It was completely unexpected and horrified the whole family and everyone who knew her.

My Nan lived just a 10 minute drive away (my grandad lived the other side of the UK). I grew up to become extremely close to my Nan. She became my 2nd mother, my sister, auntie and friend all rolled into one.

I have tried speaking to someone, yet i feel empty. My family all feel a little different and will not talk to me about her death because they feel they have been able to let go and move on. But i’m struggling. I feel so numb. Everytime i try to move on, my heart breaks even more. I’m scared i’ll forget her voice, her scent, her laugh, her hugs…everything about her. I don’t feel ready too. Or I don’t too. I still sleep with her cardigan on my pillow, and i have photos in my bedroom. Yet i just want her. I still ask for her (accidentally) and that hurts.
I feel so trapped and lonely. But i’m becoming tired of crying myself to sleep, to act like i’m okay.

What should i do? Please help me.

Category: Tags: asked March 19, 2014

2 Answers

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I'm terribly sorry for you loss. I lost my papa some time ago and i do still get sad from time to time and i feared forgetting as well and we were close also, but you don't simply forget such a bond. I still remember games we played and his hobbies and face like it was yesterday. Grandparents are a special thing and it's very unfortunate but all you can do is try to smile on the good times and live your life the way she'd like you to live. those memories are yours to cherish now and no loved one would want you to look on the memories in sadness, they are meant to bring you warmth. when you miss her, just think of moments that you shared and let it bring you some comfort when nothing else can.
1
Hi Danielle, I'm so sorry you lost your family member so unexpectedly. It sucks, I know. Because it never occurred that they can be gone so suddenly. It's a really crappy feeling in which I can relate to you with. What might make you feel better is to reminiscence on more happier memories. Just know, you'll never forget her as she will live forever in your memory and in your heart. Everybody grieves differently, some longer than others and that's okay. If you're connected with another family member on that level or close to it you might want to talk to them about it. Share the memories you had and definitely talk it out with someone.