I made it for about three months free until i started again because my depression came back for some reason; I’m guessing it was a bad day. As a freshman, it’s not hard nor easy either as being a freshman. It’s complicated, and the hallways get really crowded that sometimes when the bell rings I literally run to my next class because of the fear of the crowd & with that crowd I think I’m going to be judged you get me? Lately, all I have been thinking is self-harm. I have a few recent scars, & only have been clean for about three to six weeks which is actually good for me, but sometimes I think about it. I have an urge to self-harm again BUT I know I have to stop. Is there anything you can suggest?
It's good that you want to stop harming yourself. That's the first step. You can try some alternatives. For example, you can use ice and hold it against your skin for a while. It'll give you the same feeling, but without the damage. You can also try the butterfly project. With the butterfly project, you draw butterflies on the places where you'd cut yourself and if you'd cut yourself, you'd be killing that butterfly. You can also try to put a rubber band around your wrist and snap it when you feel like you want to harm yourself. It also might help to keep a journal to write all your thoughts down. It depends on what will work for you. You can try a few things and see which alternative might work for you. You could also give yourself little rewards for not harming yourself. For example, if you have not harmed yourself for a month, give yourself a gift. It could be anything, like a new piece of clothes that you'd like to have. Good luck.
I draw on my hands and arms when I think about it. Also, I think about if something goes wrong who would miss me. Keep inspiring quotes everywhere you can. Just know, you are stronger than those thoughts. You can kick it in it's ass. Focus on your hobbies like maybe writing or singing and, just don't think about anything else. If you're a religious person; I have a friend who prays for comfort. It never fully goes away, keep that in mind... but, when high school is over, you can say I've lived. As for the crowds, there are others on Earth about 7 billion. It's not that your afraid of crowds, maybe it's who is in them. Tell yourself that you're stronger that your fear.