How can I help her?

2

My friend, Ava, is one of my best friends. I know she’s been having depression issues before. Last week, she told me that her depression came back extremely hard about two months ago, and I never knew. She’s been self harming, doing a lot of cutting. She’s been telling me all about it and trusting me to help her, and I love helping her, but I have no clue how to help. She says that she’s been trying to stop self harming for me, and for that I am grateful, but I don’t really know how to help her get rid of her depression. She’s not just relying on me for help, but she’s been going to her other friends as well who have more experience with depression than I do (she hasn’t stopped coming to me, though). I’ve never really been depressed like her before, so I don’t really know what it’s like. I think that she’s finding a way out of cutting by distracting herself, but if she stops self harming herself, which I hope, how do I get her out of her depression? (I believe her parents know about her depression as she has been formally diagnosed with it before.) She and I have tried to cheer her up by doing the things we love (basically talking about bands and stuff, haha), and I can tell that makes a difference, but I want her to be fully happy.

I really want Ava to be happy again…

Category: asked August 7, 2014

2 Answers

2
accepted
By simply supporting her, you're helping her already. Keep doing what you already are, listen when she needs it and cheer her up. It's okay not to have all the answers, no one expects you too. Encourage her to seek help from a professional who's got experience with depression if she hasn't been seeing one already.

As hard as it is, you can't get her out of it, only she can do that. But you can be there to support her, push her and keep on motivating when she feels down. Get into a routine. Talk to her and let her know your here, she can tell you anything. Perhaps make some sort of plan together, one big thing in avoiding self harm is distractions. Do things together. Another thing you could try out is whenever she feels like she's about to do something, for her to call you and talk her out of it, or maybe you come over and bring some movies or something, or just let her vent. You'd be surprised how appreciated it is just to have someone to listen.

It's not going to be easy, and while it's fantastic that you're doing whatever you can to help your friend out, don't over do yourself. There are other people as well who cares about her who can help out, you don't have to do it alone.
0
I have had friends who self-harm before, and basically what I have done is I have just been there for them, and talk to them, and do the stuff that makes us both happy. I have also told them that maybe start writing a diary is better than to self-harm. It won't leave any scars, and it makes them feel a lot better, so maybe you can tell her to try that. It's not for everyone, but you can at least try. I hope my advice was somewhat helpful.