How Can I Grieve In A Healthy Way?


About 2 weeks ago, I lost by best friend to suicide. I am still struggling and I just want answers. I feel like I could have helped her. I am lost. I don’t know where to start with my process. I have asked her family if it is ok to have something of hers so I can keep her close. Now it seems like I am a burden. I thought once you would go through a step, that step would be over, but they are cycling and I don’t know how to handle it.

So question is, in your experience, how do you grieve in a healthy way? Coping strategies? I just need input..

Category: Tags: asked March 29, 2014

5 Answers

I've dealt with loss similar to this and it took me a long time to get over it. I also felt like I could have stopped them so i feel responsible but in reality it really isn't our fault unless we could have physically stopped them there's nothing more we could do. You need to focus on the positive, remember all of the amazing times you had and cherish that. I even made a cute little scrap book of all of our pictures together and little memories and I wrote down the jokes we shared so that I could remember them and miss them but in a positive way because I know they wouldn't want me to suffer. It's hard to think about someone, knowing you can never see or talk to them again, but instead of thinking like this you should just block the negativity out of your mind and just celebrate their life rather than be miserable because of their death. I hope this helped!
I've found that the best thing for me, was remembering all the good times. Just appreciating the part of our lives that were touched, and being thankful for the time we got to spend together. Instead of living full of regrets and what ifs, live for what's written in stone. These situations can really put things into perspective sometimes and for me, it's really pushed me to be a better person. I do all kinds of volunteer/charity work, I used to visit the hospital every week or so and have met so many amazing people. A healthy way of grieving, for me, is being distracted and doing good things. I'm sorry that you lost a friend and I hope you get through everything alright, I'm here to listen and I've been through this more times than I would like to admit, so if you ever need anything, message me anytime. I'm a good listener =)
Not everybody agrees with the stages of grief model, but it's normal to go back and forward between stages.
It's been only two weeks, this is still fresh, time will make you feel better as you get used to it and find a way to cope, but for now it's still too early to embrace a mindset of dealing with this. Do your thing, be sad, but try to go on with work/school. If you want, express your grief through letters to your friend, that you will not send, or burn.
By a burden, you mean to her family? They might need some space, they are going through your same thing, possibly worse. Her stuff will be there a long, long time before they deal with it, there will be time.
Thank you guys, It's just been so hard. They've already cleaned out her room because it was a tragic end. Her parents needed it taken care of for peace of mind. But I just miss her, and I need to feel like I am doing something right. I feel like my life is falling apart around me and there is no one to pick up the pieces. I am on antidepressants and anti anxiety meds, but will be getting an appointment to see if adjustments need to be made. thank you guys so much.
Let us know how things are going for you, too. Keep us updated if you like so we can all help you together.