How can i give my recent ex bf some space?

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We broke up 3days ago after 11 months being together, 6 months seriously being a couple.
He said our 7 year age difference is a huge problem, yet I am mature for my age compared to other girls. Yet he is really a man child who I love dearly. The simple things he said, I want a gf I can bring to the bar said it all. How can I give him the space he needs, and reason with myself if things don’t work how I want them to.

Category: Tags: asked July 12, 2015

3 Answers

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Hmmm....While the circumstances are different, I find myself in a similar situation of giving someone space. I'm getting through the whole space thing, some days are better than others, but overall I think I'm doing pretty well! I'm still not sure I'm the best to give advice on the situation. But I wanted to let you know that there are other's going through something similar so feel free to message me anytime, if you just want to talk to someone who's going through it.
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Yeah I understand how you feel, it's hard when you love someone but they're older than you. My age gap is only 3 years but I'm completely in love with him since we used to talk 2 years ago and now we can't even be friends anymore because he says it feels wrong. But anyway, I think just remember that if you give him space, he will feel the loss of your presence cause you're so used to being around each other and he will miss you. Cherish the time you've already been able to have with him, honestly, from my point of view you're so lucky you got to be together.
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I know you love him, but it's important to remember that relationships are built on more than just feelings. Communication, respect, and consent are also extremely important. I know you love and respect him, and I'm sure you get along with him just fine, but he is no longer okay with being in a relationship with you.

It's not that he doesn't love you or respect you. Those are still there. But if he doesn't want the relationship, you have to respect those boundaries. As much as you want this to continue, he's explicitly stated that he no longer consents to having this relationship with you. If you truly love him, you need to respect his wishes and give him space.

It's important that you accept the fact that you are no longer together. It sucks and it hurts, but you can't force him to change his mind, and even if you could, it probably wouldn't feel nearly as good as if he'd decided on his own that you two should still be together. I'm so sorry, but the best thing you can do right now is let him go.

Find a brand new independence. You can be happy without him. That's what the best relationships are like, anyway: rather than depending on each other for happiness, you find your own, independent happiness and then find someone to share it with. You are just as wonderful a person without him, and even if it doesn't feel the same, it's okay.

This isn't much of a change. There's not really much about it that makes you happy. But change is something that's constant (ironically). Everything changes, whether we like it or not. The important thing is that you take this change and use it to find a new happiness. Find a new hobby. Learn a new language. Travel. Have a night out with your friends. Do something to get him off your mind. If you're actively trying your best to not think of him and distract yourself, eventually he won't be on your mind at all.


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