How can I get over an old friend?


One of my oldest friends who I’d known for 11 years decided to cut me and a mutual friend out of her life last Halloween. I say she decided but it was more her boyfriend I’m under the impression, we met her boyfriend and after that she stopped talking to us. We messaged but got ignored, we then got texts from the boyfriend around early December saying she doesn’t want to know us because we were harassing her, we are bitches and that we should never contact her again. We’ve been blocked on Facebook and Twitter by her, also by him for whatever reason.

This Halloween will mark a year since the last time we saw her. I’m sorry if this sounds dramatic but how do I get over that friendship? We were friends since we were in school and we saw each other almost daily. :\

Tags: asked October 9, 2014

2 Answers

Unfortunately, there really is no magic answer that will solve this. Sometimes time heals; sometimes it doesn't. I can say, however, that all hope may not be lost. I had a somewhat similar experience where a friend of mine cut me out of her life because it "hurt" her husband when she communicated with me. Forcing my way back into her life would only have made the problem worse and the divide between us greater. The only solution was to stay strong and wait it out. I knew that she didn't want to cut me out and I knew it was her husband who was pulling the strings. She eventually contacted me and apologized for everything.I'm not saying that is how it's going to turn out for you, but if you have truly been a good friend, then you've done all you could do. As for the pain, that's the risk we all take when we choose to care for someone.I hope things turn out for the better for you!
Something very similar happened to me; I lost my best friend when I got with my now ex-girlfriend. It was tough losing my best friend but he didn't want anything to do with me as long as I was with my ex and I eventually realized that if he doesn't want to be my friend then I don't want to be friends with him. Often times I felt really bad and anxious and just plain depressed that I no longer could hang out with my best friend, but the thing that helped me most of all was going out more often and meeting new friends. The first party with old friends and I immediately started to feel better, and by the third one I was almost completely over him. You say your mutual friend has also been cut out of that so-called "friend"'s life as well? Well, why don't you two throw a Halloween party and invite round plenty of friends and believe me you'll feel better and soon forget all about her. Friends coming over would most likely take pictures for social media and it won't be long until she'd see said pictures and realize what she had missed out on. The boyfriend sounds somewhat controlling to me. Is it really all your friend, or is it part him as well? Before any real efforts should be made it is important to know who to direct those efforts at, and which would be most effective given the gravitas of the situation. Leave your ex-friend alone for now -- don't give her a reason to suspect that you're actually harassing her. Believe me, don't give her and her boyfriend anything that they can turn against you; just let them get on with it; she needs to see that she needs you, not that she can't get rid of you. Keep going, Staceylou. Also, congratulations; you're my first Q&A :D