How can I express my feelings towards hime

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I’ve been dating a guy named mike for 9 months and recently I had slept with someone else. We aren’t actually together and we both been u faithful but I was the one who actually slept with someone. We love each other and care for each other and I messed up huge. I told him about it and he’s been on and off thinking about it and if we should continue, I know I can’t co troll what he feels or wants to feel. But I just want to be able to prove to him that I will do anything for him to trust me. But actually trust me because even when things were fine we both made it clear how we don’t trust each other which is odd. But I really care about him and love him and do t want to lose him. Someone please help!

Category: asked April 7, 2015

2 Answers

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Well, first of all its good that you told him.

Ball is in his court now. If you "turned yourself in" by your own free will, he should at least respect and admire that. He's still going to be angry and hurt, little doubt about that.

Make it obvious to him that you are at any time open and willing to talk with him when he wants to, but do not pressure him to do so sooner than when he feels that he's ready.

Its his choice now on how to proceed. Worst case scenario is that he will feel so hurt and betrayed that he will leave you. But I think most probably he will come back, but offer some sort of limits or "lines on the sand" that are now not to be crossed in your relationship. He may also expect you to do something to make it up to him.

If he comes back, then you need to hear him out and work out the ins-and-outs of what he says about the relationship and then work with what you get.

God news is the most dificult part (telling him about it) is behind you. You made the right choice. I'm sure that once he gets over your infidelity, he will look back on this and value the fact that you have chosen to be sincere and open with him about such a difficult matter. You shown him great trust by doing so and if he trusts you back, you can make this relationship work and flourish more than before.

One last perhaps obvious statement: If he gives ou a second chance, do not mess it up cause it is unlikly he ill give you a third one.
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You slept with some other guy. Fine. No problem. The fact that you are brave enough to actually tell him and not keep it a secret is very good. Dont try to delay telling him. The more you delay, the more serious it will get. If he does truely love you, he will be mad in the beginning, but im sure he will understand. If he does forgive you though, please do not make the same mistake. it will crush him. All the best