How am I suppose to handle college with the feeling of hatred in my heart for my real dad?

I don't know. I just don't want anything from him

Hey LovelyEmotions! My advice to you, Would be to open your heart to love, speak with him and try to gain an understanding. This doesn't mean that you have to forgive him right off the bat, but see what he has to say, and if you are comfortable enough then, allow him into your life little by little.Life is weird, it's full of twists and turns, But if you can embrace the love, it will overwhelm and replace whatever hatred you have in your heart.Hope this helps!

Right now I'm actually in the same boat as you. When I was 5 my mom and I walked 40-50 miles to my cousins place to borrow a few dollars for food and I remember them slamming the door in her face and i still remember my mom sitting on the curb crying then walking all the way back to our shed we called home I am furious at them and even now it brings my anger back as Im typing this. Now my cousin needs a place to live and I figured I would be no better then she was if I do the same thing we forgive but we never forget I can't say I love her I can't even say I like her but she's family and there's nothing I can do to change that. You don't have to trust them you don't even have to like them you don't even have to forgive them that decision is all up to you, but the least you can do is hear him out, start slow take him out and confront him (I did that it felt great trust me) whatever happens is all up to you to decide. Best of luck :)