High school Drama:(


Well, long story short, there is this girl that i made friends with when i had no friends. TBH, i didn’t really like her even back then. But I decided to ignore my gut and just go with it. One day while talking to me she just sort of called me her best friend, and I didn’t feel the same but I had nobody else, so In my head i just said “whatever” and just sort of went along with it. The thing is, she was very manipulative to me. She would sort of imply that my parents were terrible and abusive people, and that she was the best thing that could’ve happened to me. And basically she kept on telling me I wasn’t good enough to find another friend, or girlfriend or achieve becoming anything. Since we hung out a lot and I actually believed her, I eventually got into depression. I would just cut myself to feel something and it sort of got out of hand for a bit. Eventually, I joined this support group at school that was held by the counselor, and met these 2 wonderful people who are now my actual best friends. And it’s not just one sided this time, because they actually like to hangout with me and spend time together, whereas it was never the same with my previous ‘friend’. The first time both parties met each other, My previous friend(I’m gonna call her my PF) told me I shouldn’t hang out with these people, and for the first time I said no to her. She got furious and kept saying that I’m treating her like a doormat by not listening to her advice. I clearly hate her by this point, and her mere presence frustrates me, but I can’t legally and morally do anything about it. My 2 new friends(and I’m using the word new very loosely, they’ve been my friends for about a year now) hate her, from the first time they met her. She was rude, obnoxious, and just saying “I just want to hang around you guys and observe what happens”. Also, she only shows this side of herself to me, and nobody else. To everyone, she seems like a nice, sweet girl, so that I seem like a prick if I say no to her. And she was also trying to get me to cut off contact with my other 2 friends for a while, then gave up. Even though this is just typical high school drama, it really stresses me out and I’m losing sleep over how much I hate my PF. Help?

Tags: asked May 5, 2014

2 Answers

It's been a few years since I've had to deal with anything like this but I understand how frustrating and stressful it can be. The solution is pretty simple but takes some guts. You have to pull your two friends aside and explain the situation to them. It doesn't matter what the other girl appears to be on the outside because your real friends will believe you no matter what. (that's why they're your real friends) Once you have their support, you need to pull the other "friend" aside and bluntly tell her that you don't want to be her friend anymore. There isn't really a nice or easy way to say that so just keep the conversation short and leave no room for misunderstanding. You may feel bad about it but you can't let other people control your life. Remove the stress point from your life and you will be much happier.
High school is a place where you meet many kinds of people and it seems that the 3 you are talking about have a big impact on you. Having your two best friends support you in doing what should be done which is to cut ties with your PF it seems harsh to do but having her control your emotions and stressing you out to the point where you are doing self harm is worse. Now that you have two real friends to help you through pain and drama there shouldnt be any need for stress. If she still trys to control you just politely tell her to step off. Even if she isnt being the bigger person here thers no reason why you shouldnt show her that you are. hope this helps, good luck!