Hello! I started self harming when I was about 12. I told my parents about it and I got help. I was clean for about 2 years. Recently, I had started a new anti-depressant and it was great until about 2 weeks ago. Long story short, my urges have been stronger than ever I’ve cut my hips several times and I cut my sides recently. I used to feel guilty about doing it before, but now I don’t. I’m worried if I tell my counselor she will tell my parents and they will hate me for it. Advice??
I was scared of the same thing, but my parents don't hate me for cutting. They didn't take away my blades either or start watching me closely, because they realized that if they took away my blades I would just find something else. They did make me promise that I would tell them if my cuts got infected or if I needed stitches. For that reason alone I would encourage you to let your parents know. If god forbid you ever need stitches or your cuts are infected, you'll be able to get help quicker if your parents already know that you cut because you won't have to spend time telling them why you need stitches.
Your parents will not hate you for that. They're your parents, they only want to help you. You need to tell your counselor about this so you can get help again. It's a bit step to come forward with it, but it's for your own well being. You did it before and you can do this again. Instead of cutting yourself, you can try out some alternatives and see if any of those works for you. For example you can hold an ice cube against your skin, this resembles the same feeling that you get from cutting yourself. You could also try the butterfly project, where you draw butterflies on the places where you'd cut yourself. Then you can't cut yourself because you can't kill the butterflies. You could also lock the things you use to cut yourself in a box and fill that box with letters and other things that might stop you once you open that box. There are many other alternatives that are worth looking into. The most important step to take is wanting to stop and reach out for help. You will get through this. If you ever want to talk to someone about this, you can always feel free to message me.
I'm sorry to hear bout ur tough time dear. I know what it's like to want to feel pain instead of dealing with reality. I went thru this young and tried to take my life after. my friend killed herself. Unfortunately it's not a problem that any parent or councillor can fix completely for u. It's ur self u have to love. When I got older I e always been so embarrassed and ashamed to expose my wrist even tho it happened 16 years ago. To this day I feel so regretful. Just think when u get older there always there forever. I hope that u too can over come this and look at ur scars as war wounds, and just a memory of being a strong girl who over came a serious and difficult situation. Please let them b reminders of of the past n how strong u really are.and never be ashamed. Ur parents n councillors may be some help n support, but could also make it worse , in the end it's u who has to want it! Xoxo
I don't care what anyone else on here is saying about the "don't tell them" and the "they'll hate you" those people are honestly ignorant people who don't think about other people's safety. this is what you need to do: if you don't feel comfortable with telling your parents yourself, first tell the counselor. ask her to tell your parents in private, and your parents AND counselor will get you help again. if you do feel comfortable telling your parents, just say "I think maybe this medicine isn't working or something but it's making me want to cut, and I have been. can you guys try to find me some help with this?" i promise you. I've done self harm before and I felt like I was about to explode inside until I finally told someone. I SWEAR they won't hate you. there's nothing to hate you about. trust me, they will be vary caring and act the exact same way they did the first time. after all, you're their child and it's their JOB to take care of the you and give you what you need
I can c different views on this n I totally agree with tons of good points. The only reason I said it could help or make it worse telling ur parents is cause every situation is different. And when I was 15 and my parents were alcoholics I got kicked out onto the street for cutting. N I just didn't want to give certain advice and make it worse. It's really hard to assess a situation that's not ur own. But I think in my case I was different sercumstance than most. I think most parents should be more understanding and accepting and worried. And I pray for u my dear. I think the first step is reaching out and the very fact is darling u have done just that. So u should be proud of urself no matter what. I hope u find comfort in ur family n councillor. But if u r feeling stronger by venting to us or just talking to someone then that is the very thing u should do. U can pm me any time n if u like I can give u my email n u can contact me anytime. I know it sucks right now but I promise u the more u talk about it the better it feels n sometimes it helps just having a person on hand to chat with any time u r feeling vulnerable. Hope u feel better soon!
Before I start with my actual response; I would like to remind you that you are a beautiful and wonderful person, with or without the cuts on your body.
I personally would recommend telling your therapist. If she tells your parents; it's against the confidentiality act! The only reason they could tell your parents is if they see that you are at risk of ending your own life or someone else's. But maybe it would help if your parents knew too?
I personally was terrified of telling my parents or therapist; so I know exactly how you feel, they tried to put me in a hospital! But when my mum found out, I genuinely thought she would've disowned me and saw me as a weak human being. But she was so strong about it! She became my rock and she is one of the main reasons that I am now 2 years cut-free.
I know it's hard beautiful, I'm still finding it as hard as I found the first day cut-free, but it is possible. Recovery is achievable.
I hope that one day you will wake up, smiling at the world as you have happiness inside you, because trust me; you deserve every bit of happiness heading your way. I know it looks like a very long and very dark tunnel. But there's a reason it's called a tunnel; there's an end to it eventually! You are a wonderful human and never ever forget that x
My friends have struggled with self harm before. We talked about it, and i hate that they think they deserve that. Rather than cutting, you could try something else, or think of something that makes you happy. No one deserves to feel that way.
As for the counselor, if you don't feel comfortable talking to him/her, then don't. You could try something else, besides anti-depressants, to help you feel better, because no one should have to del with that. If you need help you can message me.
im sorry but you shouldnt have told them. i dont know how you had the strength to do that. when my parents found out they said it was all for attention....... make yourself anonymous. let them know your happy and shut your door on them. it might not work because its not working with me.
im sorry but you shouldnt have told them. i dont know how you had the strength to do that. when my parents found out they said it was all for attention....... make yourself annymous. let them know your happy and shut your door on them. it might not work because its not working with me.