Help Please?


Alright, I’m going to get right to the pint on this one. My brother is in the National Guard, and he’s leaving for Georgia for Basic Training in about three days.
Earlier this year, he started dating this girl, Kate, from work. She’s only about two years older than him. At first, my family and I liked her, she was really nice and seemed cool.
But, ever since Matt (my brother) and Kate started dating, he’s been a completely different person. He started drinking and stealing and god knows whats else!
Recently, he stole over $300 from my step dad, and I was blamed for it! He knew that he stole it, and he still let me take the wrap for it. That one little incident put me through so much hell, until he finally told my parents that he was the one who took the money.
After that, he moved out (after my mom kicked him out for leaving and not returning texts or phone calls for two days). We found out that his “girlfriend”, Kate, also has another boyfriend, which is NOT my brother, and is living with this guy!
She was totally using my brother for the past few months for his money, all while living with another guy. I hate her for treating him like this, and turning him into another person. But i’m also angry with my brother, still for letting her influence him, and for stealing from our family, and for leaving without a simple goodbye.
NOW, my main problem, is that he wants to visit within the next couple of days to say goodbye before leaving for BT, but i’m just too pissed at him to even see him right now.
I just don’t know though, because I still love him and he’s going to be gone for about four months, almost a thousand miles away.
After everything that’s happened,should I see him? Or no?
Thanks guys, it would mean a lot if you’d give me your input!

Category: Tags: asked August 22, 2014

6 Answers

If it makes you feel better, pick somewhere else to meet him than (I assume) home, so you can excuse yourself and leave if things get sour. Giving yourself a time limit for this can also help. He learned a good lesson, and hopefully now begins his climb back to being worthy of trust again (the military setting might help too), but you have to give him a chance. If it's too soon though, take your time, you can send him a letter later.
You should absolutely see him! Love is an odd force, and can do things to people. Your brother was a victim, and needs support ESPECIALLY by his family to get back on his feet. I'm sure he'd be grateful to see you before he goes away for such a long time.
While I know you're mad at him. The answer is yes you see him. If he goes from BT to Deployment you might not get to see him again. Don't ever do something you'll regret.
I think it's terrible what that bitch (and yeah i called her bitch and don't regret it at all) did to your brother, but i also think he was way too easy to influence and use and he should have thought about what he was doing because at the end of the day it was him who stole that money and not her. BUT everyone makes mistakes and deserves a second chance and i'm sure if he found out that girl he probably loved used him that way he'll be really hurt and upset with everything he did. So if i was you i would tell him how much he disappointed everyone with his actions but that you still love him and forgive him because he's your brother and you're gonna miss him and if you don't talk to him you will probably regret it.
Ultimately, the choice is up to you. If you feel that you want to see him, do so. There is no right or wrong way to feel about it. Perhaps being able to talk to him, calmly sit him down and discuss what happened, give him a chance to apologize. Or at the very least hopefully give some perspective to why he did what he did, and decide if you're willing to work on solving it.

The only person who can decide to forgive him or not, is you.
I think you should see him. Life is too short to be mad at the people you love. You have no idea what could happen and you could end up wishing that you had forgiven him and that you had told him you loved him before he left. Don't be afraid to tell him how it made ya feel, but don't let it keep you away from your brother.