So probably about three days ago, my female friend came out to me. She said that she’s been hiding her true sexual orientation since 6 years ago. She has also been hiding her feeling of love towards one of her female friend since day one of school (we’ve just entered the 2nd year). And now, she sorta develops feelings towards our junior.
She’s so frickin confused and afraid til now. She told no other soul but me and our counseling teacher. To be honest I have no idea on what she needs to do. She said that 55% part of her wants to go in to the lgbt world, but her parents and her religion (cause she came from a very religious family) own the 45% of the probability and it kinda holds her back to reveal her true self.
Keep in mind that we live in one of a southeast asian country and the people here are not really okay about same sex relationship.
I’m okay with her and I was not even disgusted when she told me that thing (which was what she’s afraid of).
I really need to know what your opinion on this particular case, guys. Maybe your thoughts can help her and her future (?)
Thank you! I really appreciate any of your feedback!
Love .x

Category: Tags: asked September 22, 2015

3 Answers

Hello Maddie, As someone who used to live in southeast asia (PH), I understand what your friend is going through. My family is also hella religious, which is the reason I can't come out to them. Not yet. I'm scared that they'll never see me as their perfect daughter or possibly cut off my university education. In high school, I was lucky that I had open minded friends that I could share my orientation with. They really helped me through the whole acceptance process, and I suggest that you do the same for her. Normalize lgbt topics, make her open up to you, make her feel comfortable. Defend her from bigots when the time comes. It would be great if you guys could also find other like minded friends that she could talk to. I assure you, she is not alone in this.
Cultural differences can often be difficult to overcome, but in this case the reality is the same; things will be hard for LGBT people until and unless they stand up for their rights against the opposition, be it family, friends, society, or their own government.

Your friend needs to shamelessly adopt her true self and make her story public and known. Stand up proudly and unafraid, declare herself to the world, and not allow any person or entity to try and shame her into silence for doing nothing more than admitting who she is.

LGBT people have been fighting and dying for the simple right to openly exist, and that fight is not over. Your friend has my full respect, as I am also an LGBT person from a religious family. You can even recommend that your friend visit blahtherapy.

Do the right thing and support your friend. Reach out to media and make your story known. Spread awareness that LGBT people are in Asia and are no longer afraid.
I see, it's quite a complicated situation to be in. First of all I think your friend was really brave to come out :) . Now, about being confused: sexuality is something like a straight line, it's normal to have doubts, certain fears, etc. She will find her answers with time and support. ANd talking about support. I realised she won't have alot from her family and community overall, so please support her. Keep being the awesome friend you are to her :) I wish you and her the best of luck