My dear boyfriend, Ricky, is fed up with his family. They constantly rail on him, demanding that he follow their dreams exactly and they are quick to call him stupid and lazy, when he is really only unmotivated because they never offer him a kind or encouraging word. He lives with his grandpa, who treats him like an emotional punching bag and lets the horrendous amounts of vodka he drinks every night do the talking. He is quick to try to make Ricky feel isolated by saying “oh your mom is very mad at you” even when she is not, and he will do this by saying that everyone is disappointed. His mom is a flake, and will side with his grandpa just so she doesn’t have to deal with him. His dad (his parents are divorced) is very strict and acts like the end is nigh simply because Ricky signed up for college classes late and only ended up with one spanish class. I feel like they do not care about Ricky being successful in the future, they are only interested in him being overwhelmed with challenges.
As for Ricky himself, he has found a goal for the future. He knows what job he wants, despite how no one wants him to pursue it for whatever reason. They emotionally abuse him every day and drag him down, then wonder why he doesn’t want to ever try because they are never happy. He wants to move and I want to go with him to help support him. But he is extremely non-confrontational, and would rather sit and suffer than try to make his life better by standing up for himself; but I know that he doesn’t want this, he just doesn’t know what to do. At every turn, his family threatens to cut him off and he’s afraid to try to save up to make a living for himself because they never get off his case.
As for my own personal experiences… His family likes to consider me “conditional family”. As in, I’m family when they’re not mad at Ricky for whatever reason. They like to pin all the blame on me, when I do nothing but encourage Ricky when they put him down. His grandpa acts very weird to me too. He gives me a lot of compliments whenever I am dressed nicely around him, and I mean… Too many compliments. He is also very cruel, he has insulted me and my family to my face.
I guess what I’m asking is… What can I do? To help Ricky? Should I defend myself against his family? Should I defend him?