help me become a better listener

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I have lately been going a lot of the listening chats, and sometimes feel helpless at to what to say to the person? or don’t really know how to help them but do not want to be rude. What tips can you give me so that I can improve my listening skills? what things upset you about listeners so I know to avoid doing that?

Category: Tags: asked April 5, 2014

5 Answers

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Well its different for everyone, but I think when you feel helpless, you should admit to the venter about it. Also, you could try to think of what you might do if you were in the venter's situation. That might help. Honestly though, just keep being yourself and giving your best. Everyone is different so its difficult to generalize. Just be understanding and try not to let biases form/affect you. (:
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I think the main thing to do is acknowledge that you can't always help every person you talk to. Like Yourlostlove said above, sometimes people don't want advice. But that doesn't necessarily mean that you aren't helping them if that's the case. Sometimes just typing it out and knowing someone is there to read it is enough.
If you really feel like you don't know what advice to give, the best thing is to sympathise with the venter. Saying things like, "I can't imagine how hard that must be for you" or "I think you are incredibly brave for speaking to someone about this" can really boost someone's confidence and make them feel a little better.
It's probably best to avoid repeating "I know how you feel" as depending on how serious the issue is, it can deviate from their own feelings and make them seem less significant, even if unintentional!
I hope you're having a good day xx
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https://blahtherapy.com/user-groups/listeners-group/forum/topic/some-guidelines/
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https://blahtherapy.com/user-groups/listeners-group/forum/topic/the-rules-of-being-a-listener-1/
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to vent means to listen, and sometimes that's all people want is someone who will listen and care about what they say. If they ask for advice try your best to give some helpful solutions but mostly just make sure the person is comfortable talking to you and is hopefully making progress.