HELP How can i make my boyfriend stop getting mad all the time?


I’m in a relationship. I’m 15 years old and my boyfriend is 19 years old. We met on Twitter in January and we started dating since March 3rd. He lives in the US and i live in Peru, so it’s a long distance relationship. He’s the sweetest guy i’ve ever known, he cares about me, he worries about me, he loves me with all his heart he’s funny and he’s really nice, but lately he hasn’t been. We’ve been dating for 7 months and a couple days, and everything was going perfectly right, until two or three weeks ago. He started getting mad pretty much all the time, and sometimes it wouldn’t even make sense, because i don’t do anything bad and he still gets mad at me for no reason. Even though he’s been getting mad a lot this past days, he has a HUGE respect for women; he gets sad and mad when he sees guys yelling at girls or hitting them, because he thinks -and so do i- that guys that do that are just really stupid. He doesn’t yell at me hardcore, but i’m a really sensitive person, and whenever people yell or raise their voice at me, i either cry because i get scared or get really sad and feel bad with myself. These past few days he has been getting mad and rolled his eyes at me, but i can only name 2 times where he has yelled at me badly. The first one was when i got home late at night from a mall and i told him that i was gonna check on him to see how he was doing every once in a while during the night, but i didn’t, and he texted all my friends as well, but no one replied, so eventually he got really worried. When i got home and called him on skype, he was furious. The other time he got mad because of many things that happened during our skype call, but the point is that he got super super pissed and because i get scared when someone yells at me, i started shaking and crying really really bad and trust me he’s not an abusive boyfriend at all. He’s the sweetest thing on earth and he has told me so many times that even if he gets super super mad he wouldn’t hit me because he would hurt himself before he hurts me. He’s always depressed and mad at himself because he hates himself because he thinks he’s hurting me a lot. He is desperately in need of help and he cries about it because he says he doesn’t wanna hurt me and that for some reason it’s out of his control and he keeps apologizing and i just wanna help him.
I know that teenagers usually don’t know who’s gonna be the love of their life and their life-long partner but i swear i know he is the one. I love my boyfriend to death and i wanna help him more than anything.
Thank you for reading, means a lot to me :)

Category: Tags: asked October 8, 2014

5 Answers

So he think he's hurting you but yet still continues to yell at you then get depressed? Something doesn't add up he's going in a circle and think about it would be weird if a guy said "I don't really care about women feelings" right? I'm a guy and I can tell you at your age you haven't experienced enough to know the people on this planet. He says he respect females but he yells at you. Abuse comes in man forms it's doesnt have to be physical it can be verbal and you guys are long distant he physically can't do anything. I'm so sorry a lot of guys are complete arses and im a guy I can tell you we can sugarcoat EVERYTHING for you make you feel like the only girl in the world then when we get what we want or over time we change personalities like girls change cloths you need to make the guy PROVE he means what he says. Please I implore you at least be wary of him don't get too deep it's only gonna get harder. I wish you the very best of luck
Thank you so much for your answer. I'm always gonna be there for him and be patient and wait whatever amount of time i need to wait just so he can get better about it. It means a lot that you replied. Thank you very much :) x
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Get out of that relationship. It is not only potentially dangerous, but it is also potentially illegal (depending upon statutes in you region).
just talk to him about working on it. if you love him, you gotta love him for all of him and if he has a temper thats part of him, talk to him aboutworking on it, and be patient. tell him tat yur there for him and dont believe he would hurt you. anger and fights happen in relationships so your gonna need to be able to deal with it alittle better than you are. tell him that when he yells at you unless he can be civilized and calm and DISCUSS whats going on instead of yellig at you, that you wont respond to him until he can be calm. tell him that your there for him, and your willing to help him wih his anger but you wont be his "punching bag" i dot mean like abusive its a figure of speach. when he yells at you and gets mean (when he raises his voice this doesnt count) tell him thta if he doesnt calm down and explain how hes feelng your going to hang up. and if he keeps yelling then hang up. and text him that when hes calm and wants to talk about it you will talk again. if hes just raising his voice ask him to calm down alittle bit. dont get upset when he raises his voice alittle, BUT MOST OF ALL be patient with him, its not going to be easy for him to calm down but work with him through it. also and im not saying he is a abusive person, or will be, but the wa you described his behavior is that of a classic abusive spouse.