Heart’s A Mess.

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So in late January of this year me and my ex had a messy breakup. Somehow we just grated on each other’s nerves too much and although I was willing to make up and try again she decided to toss me. We had been dating for 13 months at this point and I was solidly set on a future with her and I thought I was in love with her. But I realised she wasn’t “in love” with me as she had claimed to be considering she moved on the day after we broke up. That completely broke me and I haven’t been the same since. I have tried dating but the relationships I’ve had were very short lived because I couldn’t harbor any real feelings for the person. I feel like she squeezed every ounce of love and hope I ever had and now I can’t find it. I used to be happy and now I’ve spiraled back down into the depression I was in in middle school; though not as bad. Before her I dated a girl who was truly in love with me and I know that because we maintained a friendship after our breakup. I actually broke up with her for the girl who dumped me and it is one of the biggest regrets of my life. In the past months I guess I’ve been healing and I’ve been trying to get myself back into a happier place where I can “love” again. Which I’m not sure I even believe in anymore. I used to be so hung up on this ex and sometimes I feel as if I still am but I don’t want her back at all. I guess I miss what we had (which was basically sex everyday) and I realize that it wasn’t a healthy relationship now. The relationship I had before her was something true, I think. I cut off all communication I had with the toxic ex and I still talk to my healthy ex practically daily. In fact she wants to come visit me next May and we skyped for over an hour the other night. For some reason it was calm and I could actually talk to her even though we hadn’t talked verbally to each other for over 3 years. With my toxic ex, it was extremely hard for me to get a word out on Skype without it being about sex or something of the sort. I guess I was so “emotionally” invested in her because I thought love=sex. But it doesn’t. It really doesn’t. Now that I’ve moved on-though I still think of my toxic ex-I feel like I might want to try again with the other girl who is in love with me. We dated in my freshman year of high school (her being a year under me) and broke up the beginning of sophomore year. I guess teenagers are really too immature to hold a “healthy” relationship. Now that I’m a senior and almost 18, I feel as if maybe we could try again and maybe it’d work out? I don’t know what to think about it really. I feel as if I could try again but my heart is a complete mess, but I’m desperate to connect.
Any opinions?

Category: Tags: asked October 17, 2013

3 Answers

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accepted
For now, let yourself recover a little more, until you reach the point that you don't think of your toxic ex anymore. And maybe you can start anew with your healthy ex. Why not, right? Love is sweeter in second time around. Just be mature enough to handle everything this time. Let her see that you are not the same boy she used to date before, that you are now a grown up man who can handle relationship and will not break her heart. You can do it. Time heals all wound. You'll eventually forget your toxic ex for your better future relationship. Goodluck and God Bless. :)
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I'm sorry to hear you had this experience my friend. I am only 16, so I haven't had much experience with love and dating (seriously anyway). But I believe that if you keep your head up and opposer through this low point in your life you will make it it fine. Give it some time, and take a break from thinking about romance and the such.
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Talk to her about this. I assume you may have already, but it's probably the healthiest thing to do. See if she cares about you like this, if she wants to try this relationship again. It might be kind of awkward, but it's ultimately the only way to get this off of your mind and answer the question. No matter the answer, you won't have to worry about it anymore.