Have I become in love or stupid?

So here’s the long story. I met a girl and we had so much going on. We began the relationship so perfect and even started to love each other all during a summer time period. But I then found myself dealing with depression and I took out all my anger on her. I broke up with her just to be an asshole but that same day I realized I messed up. I called back and begged for her back and she took me back. But ever since, our relationship has been a roller coaster. We’ll have our very very good days and then our bad. We’re not together, she wants to take a break and meet new people but she told me that I will never go anywhere. We still act like we are in a relationship. The only problem we really have is when she flirts with other people I get pissed off. I can’t do anything. She gets pissed off too when I flirt with other girls. I just don’t get why we just won’t get together? She threatens she’s going to leave my life everytime we argue and she knows that would hurt me, but then she tells me to stop being such a “b****” and that she will never let me go. I’m just so confused and its depressing me again.

Category: Dating & Relationships asked November 9, 2014

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WeAllNeedHelp

4 Answers

First and foremost, being "in love" and being "stupid" are exactly the same thing, haha. But what you have here is a case of double plan B. Well, actually I take that back. I don't think you're using her as a plan B. But she most likely is using you as one. You see, she keeps you to the side and gives you just enough love so that in case she doesn't find anyone better, she can still come back to you. She's unsure. DO NOT let this girl run you down. Depression started AFTER you started dating her, coincidence? You decide. Now I COMPLETELY understand that you love her, and I'm assuming that she is your first love, which is always the hardest to get over. Oh, and one word of advice, never take your anger out on a girl. They will immediately sense that you do not love them. How old are you guys? That can make a big difference sometimes.

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Tiji

I agree, I feel this girl may be using you as a Plan B. And you should never be second to anyone, or just be their backup plan in a relationship. If this is depressing you, maybe you should move on and try to meet new people too. Staying stuck in the same thing that's making you sad, on top of other things weighing you down, is a recipe for disaster. The roller coaster of this relationship can seriously damage your mood, and hurt your trust for future relationships. It might be best for you two to call it quits for good. Talk it out with her, and let her know how you're feeling. It's not right that she threatens you with leaving all the time. You both need to sit down and discuss how you feel and work on it from there.

I'm 17 and she's 18.

The depression might be completely unrelated, but it sounds like you two need a break, one or both of you decided that was the best thing to do, then you didn't stick to it. If she loves you a proper break will make that obvious to her and she will come back wanting you. What you're doing now though is being an emotional cushion while she looks around and eventually this will wear down her appreciation of you until she finds someone else, someone she wouldn't choose over you today. If you step up and tell her you think some space would help and you mean to stick to it until a set time (2 weeks, 4 weeks...) you will no longer be the weaker one in the relationship and if you don't it sounds to me like you're going to lose her anyway.

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Dave

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