Have a problem with people who listen to/like the same genre of music as me?

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Ok,this is gonna sound a little weird but it’s bothering me a whole lot :( . So basically, i don’t mind it if people like strangers or my friends that like/listen to the same genre as me, i even talk to them about it. But, when it comes to family members, it really annoys/angers me. This is such a silly little problem that’s beyond my control and it’s getting to the point where i get super paranoid. Recently, my brother has been into the same genre as me and i get really nervous when he listens to the songs i know, so i listen out. How i listen out? When he’s listening to music through earphones, i can hear it, and i always try to see what genre it is or have i listened to it before. It sort of gives me a satisfying feeling when it’s a different genre or song that i don’t like. But recently, he’s turned down the volume heaps and i can’t hear it through his earphones and i’m really suspicious as to whether he’s listening to my genre… i even went to see how to hack into someone’s itunes library just to reassure myself.. this is getting frustrating, someone help me to care less about this!
Thanks for reading.

Category: Tags: asked April 14, 2014

3 Answers

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This problem is a bit tough to understand. But music should be enjoyed by everyone. If your brother digs your genre of music you should be proud! You'd have something in common and you can trade music with each other. I bet it would even be fun if you two went to a concert together that you both enjoyed. Perhaps its bugging you since you wanted to be the only person in your family that lives to a specific type of music? Don't let it bother you too much. Music is music and it's enjoyed by large amounts of people.
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I can sort of understand your issue. I'm a sociology major with a minor in cognitive psychology, so I'm going to try to relate your issue in terms of sociological imagination and your brain processing processes in a way that you'll understand (so please try and bear with me). I may not be able to offer you a solution per se, but at least I can offer you my opinion on why exactly you're having these feelings.
Your anger and frustration with family members identifying with "your" type of music is stemming from feelings that are actually pretty common amongst teenagers. Your teen years are a time for independence and separating yourself from your family, and establishing your own identity. While your twenties are usually the time for being set in the identity and then fighting your parents, in your teens you still experience this through what we all like to name teenage rebellion. You don't want your family to listen to the music you do because you want to separate yourself from them, like everyone else is trying to. For you, you are channeling your struggles with independence into your music.
So basically, don't feel bad about your anger, really. While it's a strange way to channel your feelings, you can't help your feelings. However, this is probably really bothersome, ebing paranoid and angry all the time. Realize as a teenager these feelings won't go away until you grow out of your hormones or, by some lucky chance, be one of the few that figure out how to express their emotions in a positive way.
I am not trying to justify or encourage your anger, because in any case, anger is not the solution or justifiable. There is always a way to extinguish these emotions. However, this is something you have to figure out for yourself. In what other ways can you establish your independence and your freedom? Maybe it's taking up an after school club, joining a sport, or even something as simple as creating a morning or nighttime ritual. Explore yourself, realize that your feelings are natural. In realizing these are normal feelings, perhaps that will help channel your anger in a more productive place.
Best of luck, feel free to email me with any questions you have! Try not to stress about it too much. Now that you have recognized the root of the issue, your negative feelings associated with the music should be significantly reduced. xxx
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I think I understand. It seems like the music you listen to is fairly important to you, and you feel like it says something about who you are. My guess is that you think of your brother or your other family members as different from yourself in a lot of ways--which makes sense, they probably are--but as a result, you feel like them listening to music you consider "yours" is a sort of invasion.It's like, meeting someone at a party you go to feels reasonable, but meeting your parents there would feel very weird. I feel like your going through the same sort of thing in re: the music.I think the important thing to remember is that it can still be your music even if other people listen to it. You can relate to in very different ways and it will mean different things to you. It makes sense that you and your brother may wind up liking similar things, but that doesn't mean that you lose any of your individuality.