Guy problems, help?

0

Well, In short, there’s this guy I’ve been talking to and he’s just amazing. He’s everything I’ve wanted in a guy but.. sadly, these past few days, I don’t know.
He’s 4 years older than me and he messaged me about wanting to wait for a year to like, actually start dating physically because he said he doesn’t want to get in trouble (I’m 17). And so, we’re like, according to him, “Distant lovers”
I really don’t know what to do. For the past few days he’s been very distant. I really like him but my pet peeve is when I know he can text back but he doesn’t. Like I know he’s just gaming and he can’t even text back when he’s done it before. I don’t know, maybe I’m just being a snotty brat about it :( But I don’t know… Hm.. What do you think?

Category: Tags: asked February 22, 2015

4 Answers

1
accepted
Putting yourself down and finding excuses to keep your feelings locked up doesn't fix anything. There is a reason you feel that way and in order for this relationship to progress that reason needs to be accounted for. I can understand his concern because you're so young, but that shouldn't stop him from keeping contact with you. You need to make it clear that this is bothering you, both of you really need to understand each other. If you're sure that he can text back but he's choosing not to, then that's something you definitely need to talk to him about. People don't just stop doing these things. You wouldn't expect a chair to transform into a table just by staring at it, right? Same idea. If this is what he does then that's the way he is. At that point you can either accept it and make compromises for the relationship to continue, or if it bothers you greatly then it likely will not work out. If you two are serious about making it work, you need to make sure both parties are happy. But any relationship where communication is an issue is doomed to fail. If you really love the other person, then of course you should love talking to them and sharing with them.
1
I can sort of relate to this. Me being in the guy's position. Sexual tension and frustration are ugly things that can lead to irrational decisions and illogical reasoning. You have to understand that he has to deal with other types of stresses as well. (i'm not trying to undermine your position in this of course).If he likes you as much as you like him then the most likely reason for his absence is to keep himself from getting frustrated. Talking to you or being around you probably gets him going and the best cure is prevention. When you get sexual urges it's hard to deal with emotional stuff.Also I know age is just a number. But you are still just 17. So much is going to change in the few short years that you graduate and go to college. So try and keep light-hearted about relationships and life in general :).
1
You should see what the law is in your area. The age when you're considered adult enough to make relationship decisions like this differ from state to state. Then you'll know if waiting that year is really necessary.
0
I agree with ingenious bucket, most states legal age are 17. I would continue to spend time with him and if waiting for sex is something he wants to do, and he actually waits, that can show a lot about his character. I would definitely check on the legal age of your state though. that could put him at ease.