I broke up with my boyfriend recently. I don’t regret it, because in my heart I know that it was the smart thing to do for a ton of reasons I won’t even bother getting into. When we first broke up, he begged for me back like crazy, but now he’s starting to ease. I thought this is what I wanted, for him to move on, but now there is this loneliness lingering in the air and I miss him being around. I get sad over the little things like not being able to buy him a christmas present, or when I think about the plans we made that we will never be able to fulfil.
What are the next steps for me? What can I do to make this emptiness stop?
If you feel it was right to break up, then try to feel good about your decision. Whenever I'm single, and struggling to get past my feelings I like to spoil myself. Do anything you want, you don't have a boyfriend to answer to. I try to do things that make me feel good like, eating delicious food, indulging in all my guilty pleasures, getting dressed up, if there was anything your boyfriend didn't like to do, do that! You gotta take care of yourself. Imagine if you were trying to help a friend get over her ex, all the things you would do for her. Also, if you keep a journal, you can write out any frustrations you have, or even just write about how awesome you are, or write about what you've learned from his relationship and what you want from your next relationship. It's not going to change overnight, but if you focus on just taking care of yourself, then you'll eventually start to feel better.
I hate that feeling. I hate the little things that you remember and makes you miss them. Its especially hard during the holidays because of all the memories you created with them. I was dealing with a breakup this past year and I can relate. You just need to remember why it would not have worked out with him. Why you two are so different and what your future would have realistically been like with him. I know with my ex our future realistically would have not been very good. Its hard but keep trying to think logically. Its always okay to remember him and the good times and to miss him every now and then but you ended it for a reason.
Maybe you just miss being wanted by someone. It sounds like you miss the idea of being in a relationship rather than the guy himself. Allow yourself to grieve and try to go back and enjoy the things you used to enjoy before you were with him as someone else already said. Hope you feel better soon. The empty feeling will go away eventually and everything will be okay.
I think the main problem is that you don't miss him but you miss the idea of him. The idea of having someone constantly there can be comforting. I have come to know this personally. The best thing to do is surround yourself with people who love you. Friends and family members that build you up and constantly remind you of your good qualities and worth. The single life can be liberating! You can flirt freely and do things that might not have been possible while tied down to a boy. It's not a bad thing to think about the good memories...It only becomes destructive when you choose to dwell on them. Relationships can't and shouldn't dictate your happiness although it's a hard concept to grasp and believe in, I know. You have both learned from the relationship and there will be many more opportunities for you in the future to be in love once more. Love is not limited to one person. Again, enjoy being single and become involved in activities that give you purpose. Best of luck!