I am curious. Would it/does it bother you if a friend of yours doesn’t drink? I feel like every time people ask if I want to go out drinking, and I tell them I don’t really drink but that I would love to go with them anyways, they judge me and then suddenly cancel on me. Is it really that big of a deal that I don’t want to drink?
People will always stigmatise what they don't understand. I have no doubt that countless vegetarians, vegans, gluten-freegans occasionally receive the same treatment that you have. Perhaps the best advice would be to not bring up the fact that you don't drink until someone asks about it specifically. Instead, accept the invitation to the bar, order a Coke and when they ask you why you're not drinking, THEN feel free to inform them of your lifestyle choice. This way, they will feel happy that you wanted to hang out with them despite the fact that you're not going to partake in the drinking part.
@ TâyOi - The problem is that where I am from people meet up at someone's house to get drunk first, then go out to bars or clubs after. (Because alcohol is so expensive at bars/clubs). So when I have been there, and they see that I am not drinking alcohol, they pretty much make up excuses why I shouldn't go with them to the bar after.. Sometimes they just completely leave me behind...
@TâyOi! and @Jonathan I am trying. I just can't seem to find anyone. I have ended 4 friendships because of this this year, and I have basically no one left. I just didnt know it was that big of a deal.
No, not at all! If you don't want to drink, then just let them know and order something else (like whatever you prefer). If you feel like you're in an awkward situation because you feel like they're judging you, ask them, "Does it bother you that I don't drink?" Their answer will tell you what kind of friend/person they are.
Ok... I'm going to have to be the bad guy here. It's REALLY awkward when you're sitting at a bar with a group and one guy isn't drinking. It makes everyone feel slightly bad because they feel like that person is left out, whether or not it's your choice. That's less true at parties, as long as you have a nonalcoholic drink in hand it isn't awkward. My advice is to go out with them and order something nonalcoholic. It'll help a lot. I picked up a lot of this from hanging out with people who were drinking age at bars while I was underage, and from bartending later on. If they still question you, be open with it, but having it in their face by sitting there with an empty hand generally causes some uncomfortableness for everyone.
I honestly don't feel it should be that much of a deal if you decide not to drink.If they don't understand your decision; tell them to deal with it. It's your choice if you want to drink or not. It shouldn't be up to you to adapt to them. In-fact, no one should have to change in this type of situation, unless your decision is greatly effecting someone else negatively.If you don't drink, good job!
I honestly don't like being around people when they are under the influence of alcohol, as I've had bad experiences with it.I hope your happy with your decision as much as I am. :)
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