More than friends. Less than lovers.

Okay so I honestly don’t know where to begin with this. The title of this vent/question doesn’t do it justice. There is this guy that I have liked for the longest time. We dated for 2 weeks in high school and then he cheated on me (I didn’t care at the time). I graduated in 2014 and I moved to North Carolina the summer of 2014. I had no contact with him after I graduated. He recently came back into my life in February 2015. (After 8 months of no contact). We were inseparable. We spend or spent every waking moment together. I would go pick him up after work and spend all night with him and text him all day. He became my best friend and still is. Feelings resurfaced and he knows that. He knows how I feel about him. I’ve tried to explain it a million times but every time I bring “us” up in that way he shuts me down. He says things like “I don’t see you as that I only see you as a best friend” but yet, he will kiss me and tell me that he loves me when it’s convenient for him and I let him. Why? Because I’m stupid and I still have feelings for him. Anyway, every time he needs something like a ride somewhere (mainly that) or anything of that nature I give it to him and do everything I can to help him out because I’m his best friend. Especially when he drunk calls me. Lately it has been different with us. He has a thing for my (girl) best friend and she knows this. He tells me all about her every time him and I are together. He tells me how much he likes her smile and her eyes and her laugh etc. I’ve never seen him act this way about a girl before. I explained all of this to her (my girl best friend) and all she could say is wow. She has a boyfriend that she loves but her boyfriend lives in Texas and I know she has feelings for him (guy best friend). They have been talking and she doesn’t want to do anything with him because she doesn’t want to see me get hurt. All I want is for both of them to be happy. So my question(s) are…

What do I do?
Is he using me?
Do I let him be happy even though I know it’s going to hurt me?
Do I give up on him?

Category: Dating & Relationships asked April 6, 2015

link

stuck in the moment

2 Answers

1 accepted

Spending sometime apart until you feel you got him out of your system would be good, and then not going back unless you are sure feelings will not resurface again.
Yes, your feelings don't seem to be on top of his priorities, when he gives you mixed signals and when he tells you about his crushes.
Yes (although it's up to your female friend to decide what to do, not up to you, nor to him).
I think it would be better, yes.

link

rinseandrep

7,397

the title you have probably got from him is "more than friends and less than lovers".you must have notice how your normal conversation must have turned out as sweet romantic talks when he feels like and mostly it will be the time when he's feeling low.when you'll always be there for him,no matter how good you are sometimes the other person take your for granted.doing good stuffs for him is the symbol that you are in deeply love with him.but since he's not reciprocating these feelings to you,then maybe you should just give up.its better to stab your heart daily rather than killing each day.maybe right now the only idea of him just being with you makes you feel good,maybe you are fine as long as you guys can just stay like this forever.but think yourself,there maybe a time he'll actually start dating someone,then your connection will start fading with him and at that time you'll be surrounded with mixed feelings,of being used,taken for granted like things.if he doesn't want to start a relationship with you again ,then maybe you should call it quits.there may be a chance that one day he'll move on very quickly than you ever could.don't try to do any good for him,just give up on him.its gonna hurt but not more than when you'll actually see him with other girl and forgetting you.

link

angie

168