Fresh Start?

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Okay, so me (18) and my boyfriend (27) have been together for just about a year. It’ll be on the 26th of this month. Well, let me say that the first year of our relationship was a complete struggle. From insecurities, to trust issues, to jealous babymoms, Yeah the whole freaking 9 yards. Well lately, we’ve been having little tussles back and forth, and that was like the calm before the storm. Yesterday, we got into this major blow out argument. Long story short, it got really physical. I punched him in the face, he pulled my hair. He had scratches on his face, I had bruises on my leg. Well, when I’m trying to jump out of a moving vehicle I can understand someone trying to keep you in the car. But WHATEVER. Anyway, both sides of the families know what happened, but you know to each his own and they’re sticking by their blood. Our families are completely against us being together and my family hates his guts. As does his family hate mine. Well, guess what. WE DON’T CARE. We are in love with each other and we have both agreed to change and if it doesn’t then we take it from there. But we both know we can’t let each other go and of course everyone makes mistakes. Abuse is not okay, and he didn’t hit me or punch me he was trying to keep me in the car and defending himself. My family doesn’t see it that way. What am I supposed to do when they don’t approve of the guy that I’m in love with and am determined to spend the rest of my life with?

Category: Tags: asked November 3, 2013

6 Answers

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accepted
If you're in love, why're you hitting each other?
It shouldn't get to the point where you guys are hating each other. However, if you guys do truly love each other, who cares what anyone else thinks? It is your life to do with what you please. Just don't waste what gifts were given to you.
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First off, it doesn't matter if they don't approve of your relationship with this dude. You're 18 now, you aren't a minor anymore. If they can't accept that you love him, then oh freaking well. It's your happiness that matters. Now regarding you and your boyfriend, there's always room for improvement. Usually relationships start off good and the fact that you said it started off rocky is quite strange to me. However, although it's been rocky since the get-go, y'all have still managed to be here after it all which is great. What is really the roots of all these constant problems? Y'all love each other, so instead of fighting, how about y'all show love to each other. When one of y'all is about to start something, you kiss them. Problem solved. You seem to genuinely love this man but a relationship can't go far when it's unhealthy. Just sit down with him and discuss every issue at hand and let him know that y'all will get through it. The altercations has to stop in order for this relationship to prosper. By reading the comments, I've learned that you have anger issues. I'm glad you are working on them because you don't want to lose him. When you feel the need to hit him, just walk away and cool down. Also, why the hell you jumping out the car? Are you crazy? You could've hurt yourself. I know your man wouldn't want you hurt. He loves you. Be careful! Good luck!
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@YouCanCallMePal because I have anger issues that I have yet to take care of, so 75% of it is my fault :'( But I'm getting help soon.
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@Cherry, That's awesome. Good to hear that you're taking initiative in the matter. Best of luck to the both of you!
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Also to add*
Your family will love you no matter what.
They will have to learn to love who you are with.
It wont be an easy road but your fights and insecurities need to end.
And you need to prove to your families that this is the one you want to be
with.
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This is hard because family is everything to me and I guess
I am fortunate enough that my family supports my boyfriend and I.
However, you two love each other. He isnt abusive daily. From the story
you gave it's not like this was an everyday event.
He needs to promise you it won't be an everyday event.
Also, I do suggest that you consider that if you two fight often that when
an argument is brewing you do NOT fight. You two are a new couple still.
Not super new but you two have so much more time together to learn
about each other. So my suggestions are 1. when you two are fighting
do not be near him. Walk away. Give yourself a breather to think of the
right things to say rather than to fight. 2. When you know there is going
to be fight maybe text him what you are thinking or write it down. Then,
tell him you love him. This relationship sounds good but not super healthy.
Really consider yourself in this and your safety too.