feelings on parents after they split

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my mother left our home 5 years ago when I was 14 which, naturally, to me appeared selfish of her, and caused incredible amounts of upset and anger in me, my two older brothers and my father. every aspect of my life went downhill, I was on medication for depression, I lost my personality and became a miserable person, I needn’t go on describing my change, it’s probably typical of a boy in my situation. I have been blaming everything wrong in my life on that moment when she told me she was leaving.

I tried, so hard, to see it from her perspective. my father wasn’t abusive, but he is a horrible human being. he’s a bully. he bullies me and my brothers, and he bullied her.

the saddest thing is that I’ve been blaming her for breaking up the family. I see her maybe once a week, for maybe 2 hours. she’s my mum and I love her so much. she’s tried for years to explain that she never wanted to leave us kids but simply couldn’t stay. and I always accepted it but never understood. but now I think I do. he drove her, her the most loving of people, to leave her children. I’m only realising this now. I haven’t been this upset or confused since it all happened. I can’t write any more

Category: asked March 24, 2013

2 Answers

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You're mother has done a selfish decisions, honestly, cause she left you with a bully father. However, it's he life. Don't be dependent on anybody in your life, live by your own, all others come second place. That way you'll learn to be alone and avoid disappointment and depression. You can still have so many close people but deep inside you know that alone you'll be fine too, makes you safe. And about the divorce, sometimes I wish my parents just get a divorce. It's impossible sometimes for 2 people to live together peacefully, think of this as the best for everyone. No mother is better than a 24/7 yelling parents.
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Let her into your life. Get to know her for her and not just as "mom who left." She may even help you with unanswered questions or nagging thoughts. She loves you & you love her.