Feeling not “manly” enough


When I compare myself with some of my male friends, I see them as more cocky(not in a bad way, I am surrounded mostly by well educated, tolerant people), confident, adventurous, brave than I am. They talk about getting into fights when they were younger, doing mountain biking, climbing, getting laid with girls. I am not like that, maybe I could have been but I was not lead to sports when I was young, and since I always felt like the worst in sports it was not fun for me. Later in life I started to go to gym and swim and improved my lifestyle, but I still suck at sports like soccer since I did not play much and it is not even fun for me. So I did not get to do a lot of guys stuff. I had no brothers, no male cousins nobody who would introduce me to this stuff.

Fast forward to now, I am quite a successful man (in my career, education and friendships). I think I have my values straight, I know what is right and wrong, I try to act as a good man and person to my friends and people around me. But I can not get rid of the feeling of inferiority compared to my male friends, who have much more experience with girls, are confident and carefree in this area of being a man enough for any girl. This gets in a way of my relationships. I feel like I am not “confident” man enough. It is like when a fat person loses weight but they still identify with being fat.

I want to get rid of this feeling and feel confident about my manliness.

Category: Tags: asked April 20, 2014

2 Answers

You didn't have an occasion to be involved in that kind of activities when you were young, but what stops you now? Hiking, boxing, team sports, you can pursue these activities to see if they really make a change for you, or help you thin out what your issues might be, if it doesn't work out. And no matter what, you get to try something new and meet new people, and build your inherent value as a person, that will help you with your confidence too.

And remember, the female population is variegate, some like manliness as a trait, some find more appealing a quite a successful man in his career, education and friendships, seek your own niche market.
Dude I don't know how old you are or even what you look like, but you sound amazing to me. Don't worry about being a "manlier man" when I bet you thousands of girls would love to have you as is. Every girl wants a guy that doesn't brag hours upon hours about themselves or is cocky, that's such a turn off! A guy like you sounds great to have so PLEASE don't think that you're not. Besides, every guy is different and you just happen to not be into all the stuff that the more "Typical" guy would be into. Which is fine! :-)