When I compare myself with some of my male friends, I see them as more cocky(not in a bad way, I am surrounded mostly by well educated, tolerant people), confident, adventurous, brave than I am. They talk about getting into fights when they were younger, doing mountain biking, climbing, getting laid with girls. I am not like that, maybe I could have been but I was not lead to sports when I was young, and since I always felt like the worst in sports it was not fun for me. Later in life I started to go to gym and swim and improved my lifestyle, but I still suck at sports like soccer since I did not play much and it is not even fun for me. So I did not get to do a lot of guys stuff. I had no brothers, no male cousins nobody who would introduce me to this stuff.
Fast forward to now, I am quite a successful man (in my career, education and friendships). I think I have my values straight, I know what is right and wrong, I try to act as a good man and person to my friends and people around me. But I can not get rid of the feeling of inferiority compared to my male friends, who have much more experience with girls, are confident and carefree in this area of being a man enough for any girl. This gets in a way of my relationships. I feel like I am not “confident” man enough. It is like when a fat person loses weight but they still identify with being fat.
I want to get rid of this feeling and feel confident about my manliness.