HI I’ve recently finished my final year of uni and found out that I won’t be graduating this summer because I have been referred in a module, however I’m scared to tell my parents as they terrify me as they haven’t been the most supportive when it comes to me not doing well at school. I also haven’t told my girlfriend as I am afraid I will push her over the edge as she attempted suicide a few weeks ago and is currently under supervision in hospital. I really really don’t know what to do, any help or advice would be great.

Category: asked June 11, 2015

2 Answers

The best thing to do in this situation is be honest. That may sound dumb but you are going to stress out about this greatly and it won't change the fact that you can't really hide it. You can talk to your parents and girlfriend on your own terms if you tell them yourself. My advice is to start with the fact that it may be a let down, and it is embarrassing for you, but also let them know what you are willing to do to fix the situation and how it's allowed you to learn from mistakes you've made in the past. In summary, suck it up, admit failure, and commit to being better. If you truly commit to changing whatever made you fail in the first place, then i think you can make it out of this alright.
I'm sorry you are in this situation, I know it's a tough one. Ian gave you some spot on advice, the longer you wait, the harder it will be to tell them and won't change the fact of what happened (and as Ian said it will cause you a great deal of stress). I would start with your parents, again Ian gave you some great examples of how to begin the conversation. I had many stumbles and false starts in my life, but I've found that coming clean as soon as possible is the best way to go. My mom was initially disappointed in me many times, but she still always loved and supported me through every stumble I made. As for your girlfriend, you may want to ensure she is emotionally stable enough to hear what you need to tell her. She may still be in a place where she is still trying to deal with her own emotions and may not be ready to process new concerns. Since she is still hospitalized, maybe ask one of her nurses or doctors when they think it may be a good time to discuss this with her. This may be a good way to do a "practice run" of telling someone what's going on, many times it's easier to talk to strangers and believe me, as a nurse myself they are not there to judge you. They will hopefully do what I would do and give you advice on how and when to discuss your situation. Bottom line, should tell her, but make sure the timing is right.You cannot change the past, but you can certainly learn from this and shape your future. Use this experience, some of my failures actually turned into a springboard for some of my biggest victories. You will make it out of this, it may not seem like it now...I will leave you with a quote I love, not sure where it came from, but..."Don't look back, you're not going that way".