we lived together for 5yrs but broke up 3months ago. She has a boyfriend now but she still text me and tells me her younger sister(19yrs old) always ask about me (like everyday) -when I’m going to visit them,when are we going to hang out,that she misses me, that she wanted to see me (her sister doesnt know we’re together, thinks we’re just bestfriends) I just dont know what to do.
People dont just stop having feelings for their exes because they are with someone new. They may try and hide it and push those feelings away but they still are there. I bet she is just using her sister as a reason to see you because she misses you in some way. I would not reccommend seeing her though because it could confuse your feelings. Its hard to be friends with your exs and you all havent been broken up that long. Id give it some time before you all hang out again.
I agree with KellyMichelle - you can't be in a relationship that long and just not have feelings for the person anymore. They always linger. You were part of each other's lives for so long, it's hard to even figure out a new routine that doesn't involve that other person. Now, the real question is why don't you want to talk to her? If she broke your heart and you don't want to be involved with her new life, that is 100% understandable and I would feel the same way. You have to just be honest. "Look, I appreciate that you want to be friends, but I need some more time". She needs to respect your feelings. If you don't want to talk to her because you don't want to be friends, be honest about that too. She won't know how you feel unless you are honest. That's the best we can do in life.
If you have asked her more than once to stop and she is continuing to text you, I honestly would block her. I know it sounds harsh, but what is going on is not healthy. I obviously can't say what it was, but you clearly broke up with her for a reason. And she needs to be respectful of that. If you do not want to see her any longer, that is absolutely your choice, and you have every right to make that choice. Do not let her manipulate you into doing something you do not want to do. (Telling you her sister is constantly asking about you--true or not--is manipulation to try to get you to change the dynamics of the relationship.) It's very important to create strong boundaries in situations like this. "This is okay, this is not okay." Or simply "do not contact me again." I also suggest reading the book "Boundaries: Where You End and I Begin" by Anne Katherine. I found it extremely helpful. Hope that helps!