Guess what my 21′st birthday gift was. BRUISES. physical and emotional scars. I… SMH!!! I was abused verbally and Physical all at the same time by my parents. My father hit me and insult me while my mother sat there cheering for him to hit me more n also insult me. I have internal bleeding all over my body. i was beaten black and blue. it’s scary to look at my body really. n some of the bruises have become yellow & red over time !!! I can’t walk, sit, sleep, stand. I walk funny like i was raped or something.
It all started when they started abusing me verbally. It happens regularly. They said that i was good for nothing, I was stupid n that I am of no use to humanity. They even said that I was retarded. (I don’t think a retard would make it to University)(To be honest, they are the retards. They didn’t even graduate high school) Just because I am not more of an extrovert, they hate me. Because I am timid and shy…………… Then I became really really angry. I told them that I am a screw up because of them. I told them that it’s all they’re fault. Then I guess their ego was bruised. So he started hitting me every possible way. I was beaten like a punching bag really. ;( Slap, Kicks, Punches, Throwing things at me, Throwing me to the pavement n kicking me all around like i was a ball, Stepping a foot on my face and body after kicking me down. Kicking my head back to the concrete wall behind me. Every WWE move he practised on me. He picks me up then throws me down on the concrete floor then plays around with my body as if he was playing football. SMH!!! It was humiliating. As if that’s not enough, they started abusing me verbally. They said that am a screw up. That I am of no use to this world. They suggested that I kill my self. They don’t care if I died or vanished away from this earth, run away,.. they don’t give a fuck…. They said lots of hurtful things. But I can’t seem to remember. I cried myself to sleep. sobbing without making any noise. Cuz if they heard me crying they would hurt me more. They told me that I “MUST” forgive them. “That they did all that cuz they have to. The bible forces them to punish their kids. “
The funniest part was that they asked me to forgive them. When I said no. They hit me. Then they ask me if I had forgiven them again, they tell me if i say no they would hit me again. Then eventually I have to give in and say yes. Also they try to justify every single thing they did. They said that i am a screw up that everything is my fault. They even said that I get sick a lot because i have a curse. They told me that “screw ups” like “me” have a curse following them, That I am subject to it. I have Dysmenorrhea (severe pain or cramps in the lower abdomen during menstruation) It’s a disease almost every girl has. I don’t think I get that cuz I have some curse following me. It’s natural. That’s what my doctor said. SMH!!! If I said that i am not a screw up. That i’m a normal human being that makes some mistakes from time to time. They would hit me.
I am so sad that I can’t even articulate my thoughts. Sorry for my Grammar.
What do you think I should do? I can’t move out, I am wholly dependent on them. food, shelter, clothing, all the other amenities. I am a university student. I graduate two years later. I can’t work part time while i do my studies. The department I am in requires full time dedication. We have projects to do all week long. Then I come home to that shit. I can’t afford to get my own place. I can’t even afford to buy some things I need for my projects in University.
They hate me literally. I hate them too. I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO !!!
The worst part of it is that I am really shy. Am an INTP. So when they do that my confidence just shrinks. :’( I have no friends………………………………………………. If I tell my mates about it they would look down on me cuz i was abused. They won’t want to be around me.