Eating disorder issues. Please help?


Usually, I can control my eating and rarely eat more than one small meal a day, but recently, I’ve been comfort eating a lot, and it’s caused me to put on a bit of weight which is really starting to distress me. I hate myself more with every mouthful but I can’t seem to stop. But even with all the comfort eating, where I feel like I’m eating far too much, I’m still underweight and I have low iron and white blood cells, which obviously isn’t good for my general health.

I feel fat constantly and hate my body image, I’m so disgusted by myself and now am constantly triggered to self harm because of feeling that I’ve been eating too much, and because of putting on weight. It’s gotten to the point where I can’t stand to look at myself, and being inside this disgusting lump of fat is making me intensely suicidal. I was rushed to hospital last week because I wasn’t safe to be alone because of suicidal thoughts, and they’re still plaguing me. I honestly don’t know what to do any more, my weight was so low before Christmas and was dropping fast, and I felt so much more confident. I just want to get back into the habit of restricting food but I feel like I’m stuck in the comfort eating cycle…

Please help… some advice, anything… I just can’t carry on feeling this disgusted with myself, it’s dangerous. I need to lose weight, and fast. If you need any more information that you think would be useful in helping me, just ask…

(I have depression, BPD, anxiety and a currently unspecified eating disorder which is being assessed next week)

Category: Tags: asked March 23, 2014

2 Answers

I used to have all those diagnosis at one point. Now I don't think I have the eating disorder anymore, but when I get stressed enough, I'll stop eating for a few weeks. I know how you feel. When I don't eat, it's amazing, I can think better, more confident, proud of myself. And every time I do, it's like my life is crashing and spiraling out of control. Then like one day after another, I gradually put on a hell of a lot of weight....and over the past months, I've lost 40lbs. I don't know what kinda of advice your looking for and I don't want to give you the wrong advice...b.c I'm still kinda there in between. Just don't give up quite yet. Being or feeling "fat" REALLY sucks, yeah....but it'll get better over time. One way I always thought of it was since I gained a bunch of'd just be more to lose anyway I wanted and still be healthy. And again, I'm really sorry if this doesn't help...I'm not too good at giving advice....just trying. But there is medicine for anxiety eating disorders cause.
I've found that whenever I start to eat compulsively going for a walk helps. I just get away from the kitchen or the food. And I think about something else. If I can't go outside for a while, I make a list of everything I'm feeling. And drink some water. It doesn't always help but, I do start to figure out what's going on with me. But please eat more than one small meal a day, that's not healthy.