Somenone help?Need advice!


Hey! So..My family don’t really seem to understand me.
I really hate when people always say something about others without knowing them or their motives and my family hates that.
For example we walk in the street and when someone with different style passes they assume he is a criminal,gay,stupid
and when I oppose to them they get mad.
When they say something racist or homophobic (which they do a lot) and I again oppose to that,they really get angry.
Once I told my parents that when I finish highschool I want to do some activism and they also didn’t like it.
They say “Why do you always defend people? You think you’re better than us?You’re faking kindness”.
I don’t dare to say anything anymore cause I think If I do they will get angry.
And then there are my friends.
I used to have some friends that always judged me for everything I did and believed.They always said I was a “hippie” (which I hate cause I don’t like labels) just because I hated drama and always supported love and peace and somehow everytime I went out with them I ended up crying because of how shit I felt.
Now that I’m starting to hang out with some awesome people I really have a problem trusting them and although I want to I can’t and they don’t like it, of course.
I’m starting to think it is me that causes all the problems with both friends and family.Is it me?
I seriously don’t know.
What do I do? :(

Category: Tags: asked June 4, 2015

3 Answers

It isn't your fault that your family judges others incorrectly; I'm guessing it was the nature they grew up with and it's extremely difficult to change their minds once they're adults. Unfortunately, no matter what you say I don't think it would be enough to change their perspective immediately. Basically in other words, what you're saying is right but they don't believe that and it might simply cause more problems. What I'm more afraid of is that if it get serious enough, your parents might turn them against you, however irrational it'll be. It's probably for the best to keep quiet about it now. Your parents aren't in control of what you want to do with your life however.
Is there any good reasons why you don't trust them? It seems like you are enjoying their company however. Although you should always be on the wary and alert, if they truly are good people for you then you can trust them. It's just rather hard to trust people who don't trust you. I don't think there is a major problem with your friends, just some misunderstandings. You tried your best to argue against your family's ideas.
It is definitely NOT you that is the problem. I know, from first-hand experience, how hard it can be growing up with parents who don't support you. My mother actually mentally abuses me and is trying to warp my future into her view of a "perfect" one. Don't let anyone influence your opinions. Without them, you are nothing but a puppet for people to play with. In regards to your friends, open up a bit. Let them know why you're so timid and afraid to be yourself. I'm sure they'll understand if they're as awesome as you say they are :)
I really don't to pressure myself to stay quite.I have to support my opinions and I will. However I don't want my family to hate me,so that is why I don't know what to do. SaffMM I understand how you feel.I know how bad that may feel and I'm sorry.If you need to talk to someone I'm here. :)