Does anyone have some insight or stories to share about grieving?

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My step dad, who was pretty much my dad passed away a year ago. It was very sudden and it was a shock. I have never had to deal with the death of a loved one before that and I feel like I was hit with a truck. It has gotten easier but I don’t think I’m moving on as well as I should be. I have been so depressed, I haven’t been able to work in months, and now my depression is causing stress in my relationship and that breaks my heart because my partner is my number one supporter. Any advice is welcome, thank you so much.

Category: Tags: asked January 28, 2014

10 Answers

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Hi, love:)I know exactly how you feel. My aunt passed away in 2012, and my world shattered. It was intense because she had been like a second mother to me and I lost her to cancer. It ruined me. I stopped living, in a sense. I couldn't work, I couldn't study; everything hurt. But, I know that talking about your grief really helps. Getting it out there makes a difference. Doing things that remind you of your stepdad might help too. And don't stress too much about your partner; it's grief. It's okay. I hope you feel better!
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I lost a mother figure 3 years ago, suddenly. It gets easier slowly, I don't feel I dealt with it and still have days I struggle. Not a day goes by that I don't think of her. I don't know that I can give you help but if you need an understanding ear, message me.
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I'm so sorry about what you've had to deal with; loss this severe isn't easy to come to terms with. It's difficult trying to live on with your life despite constant depression. If your partner is your closest supporter and she/he truly cares about you, be completely honest with him/her and try to formulate a plan to slowly transition back to your former life. It won't be easy, but I am confident that you will be able to enjoy life again. You deserve to.
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Thank you very much everyone, I'm new at this and I'm on my phone right now but tomorrow morning I'll get on my laptop and figure out how to give credit for your answers. I'm going to try writing down my feelings, not only to do with the grief but with my anxiety and other things that are fueling my depression. Thank you again for all of your positive words everyone, it means a lot. <3
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My grieving has been going on for 14 years and I still miss my mom. It takes time to grieve and the feelings go in waves. When I look back I should have made quicker progress but everyone heals in their own time and in their own way. Start with talking about her and getting your feelings out. How you are feeling... what you are thinking.. share this with someone..this will bring up feelings yes.. you will process them.. go quiet for awhile and this will repeat and you will start to show interest in your hobbies and activites you previously enjoyed. The sooner you let the feelings and thoughts out the sooner you will be on your road to digesting what has happened. Take care
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Sorry him..Your step dad..
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When I was 9 years old, my grandmother passed away the day after Christmas. She was my best friend and I took it the hardest. Out of all of her grandkids, I was the closest with her. I am 21 years old now and even to this day, Christmas is still a very hard time for me. I do not remember anything that happened after her funeral for a few months. It's like a memory should be there but it's nothing. Also, for a few years after that, around Christmas time, I would get very violently ill and would not be able to get out of bed. Everyone grieves in their own way. I have had a lot of deaths in my family so I know a bit about grief. My way was to black out memories that would be too painful for my 9 year old self to deal with. My brain was protecting me. After she died, I started having all of my mental illness' problems and was diagnosed with clinical depression a year after. My disorders have only gotten worse and I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality at age 19 and have been in therapy ever since. I still haven't recovered all of those blacked out memories but I know with work and determinations I will.
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i lost my fiance a little over two years ago. i felt just like you did, like i was hit with a truck. i was in shock for a long while, for months i didnt feel like it was real. depression hit me hard after that, but it does get easier. slowly, with time ive learned to live on. remember, everyone grieves in their own way, theres no "wrong" way of doing it! take as long as you need, but make sure to have proper support through this crazy time of you life. i would strongly suggest grief therapy; it helps you work through the feelings of grief and will also teach you new ways to cope with lifes stressors. as far as your boyfriend goes, just be open with him. proper communication will hold the relationship together, if nothing else. best of luck to you!
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My best friend passed away when we were 14 and I spent a lot of time thinking about her and crying. You definitely need to let yourself grieve, don't stop yourself from crying and when you do, think about all the happy memories you have with them. It sounds cliche but it does get better, you will still cry years later but it won't be so frequent and it's totally fine to do so. I wish you all the best <3
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Yes I had an extremely close relationship with my grandmother, mother, and was my fathers favorite child.. They have all passed on. My grandmother and mother were the sweetest people and I miss them dearly. It has been maybe 20 years since my grandmother and father died and 14 since my mom died. I couldn't even make it to my grandmothers funeral. What have I done to cope? Well many many things. The main thing to deal with my own mental health I have become a counsellor. Please connect to me and we can talk. I believe I can help you a lot with my experiences. Take care and I hope to talk with you, Gail